If We Weren't Enemies
by maja3322
Summary: After the war Draco is in a coma, and Hermione feels the need to tell him how she really feels. Therefore she starts sending him letters about how they could have been and about what she is doing. But will Draco ever wake up to read them?
1. First Letter

**First Letter**

_May 4__th__ 1998, Grimmauld Place_

_Dear Draco,_

_Wow, that's the first time I have ever used your name. But I kind of like it, so if you don't mind, I'll continue to use it. Of course, if you did mind, you couldn't object. You can't really do anything right now for that matter. You just lie still in your bed at St. Mungo's. So far nobody can really tell how much of the battle you will remember, when you wake up. Or if you are _ever_ going to wake up. Oh Merlin, now I'm tearing up. God._

_I'm not completely sure why I'm writing you this. Especially since you can't even read it. Perhaps I'm just sad that there are so many things I really wanted to tell you, but just never got the chance to say. You can't even begin to imagine how many times I have started writing a letter similar to this, to tell you how I really feel about you. I must have started at least 20 letters during the last couple of years, but I always chickened out before posting them. And now I fear that it's too late. But I'll still write this letter and it will still be posted and sent to the hospital, so if you do wake up you'll know everything._

_Before I start with me, I want to tell you what happened during the battle, in case you won't be able to remember. I might not be the first to tell you this someone else could very possibly have told you about the battle before giving you this letter. But I am the only one who can tell you exactly what happened since I was there with you. From now on I'm going to be positive and write this letter as if it is for certain that you'll wake up. Okay, where to begin? _

_Well, Harry, Ron and I arrived not long before the battle started through a secret portal between Hog's Head and the Room of Requirement. I guess you didn't know about that one. I'm sorry but I can't tell you how or when you arrived, I was pretty preoccupied with finding the last Horcrux. I didn't see you till you, Crabbe and Goyle found Harry, Ron and I as we were searching for the Horcrux in the Room of Requirement. You three had gotten orders not to kill Harry, but Crabbe and Goyle weren't happy with that plan. But you saved us, Draco, and I respect you for that. It can't have been easy for you. But it was what happened next that put you in the coma. When we were in the Room, Crabbe cast a Fiendfyre that he simply couldn't control. It killed him and nearly killed all the rest of us. Luckily there were two broomsticks in the Room and Ron and I carried out Goyle while Harry rescued you. You may not like him, but he's the reason you're still alive, even though it was just barely. But the coma happened already as you were flying out. You see, you had breathed a lot of smoke before Harry got to you. You were barely conscious and somewhere along the flight you passed out and haven't woken up since. The healers at St. Mungo's believe that there was something poisonous in the smoke, and therefore your coma isn't just a normal head trauma coma, which they of course would have been able to wake you from in an instant. But since the coma is magically produced they have to find the right antidote first, which is going to be difficult since they don't know what kind of poison caused the trauma because the Room of Requirement is burned down._

_The healers are really struggling to get you back, and since you have only been in the Hospital since yesterday they are still optimistic. I have visited you once, but I left because your mother was sitting with you. I didn't want to impose, especially not since your mother doesn't like me. She looked so broken down that I wish I could just put my arms around her and make all her troubles go away. But that would be the fairytale version, and that's not a version I'm interested in telling. Instead I just watched you from the door. You looked so peaceful and it was hard to believe that you weren't just sleeping._

_I'm staying with Harry at Grimmauld Place. I can't stand to go back home just yet since the house is all empty. I still haven't picked up my parents in Australia; everything here has been so crazy. First of all there were all the interviews with different magazines. Next up are all the funerals. And now I'm tearing up all over again! It's just so sad. And you don't even know who's dead. Well, you're family is all right, both your mother and your father are safe and neither of them are being prosecuted for being Death Eaters since they changed sides right before Voldemort died. And I guess you didn't know that either. Things are going to be very different in the magical world since Voldemort is dead now. And dead for real. I already told you about Crabbe, but also Professor Snape and your aunt Bellatrix died. Ron and the Weasley's are devastated, they lost Fred. Of course it's hardest on George; Fred was his twin after all. Before your aunt died she managed to kill the Auror Nymphadora Tonks and her husband Remus Lupin, you know him he used to be a DADA teacher, was killed by Antonin Dolohov. Just two months earlier Nymphadora had given birth to a little son named Teddy, so the boy is now an orphan and living here at Grimmauld with Harry and I. Harry is Teddy's Godfather. _

_I guess there is nothing more I can tell you know, except for what this letter is really about. You see, I have been thinking a lot for the last few years. Well, that's nothing new really. The only new thing is the object of my thoughts; you. I know you have probably never thought of me without wrinkling your nose, but for about two years now I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I have especially been wondering how our lives would be if we weren't enemies. I think we could have been friends. I even think we could have been more than that. Neither Harry nor Ron know anything of these fantasies. Actually you are the only one I have told this to, and that doesn't really count, does it? _

_I really don't know what the future will bring. How could I, I mean, I'm not Professor Trelawney or a Centaur? I don't even know what I hoped to accomplish with this letter. I don't expect you to wake up, read this and suddenly realize that you also have feelings for me. I just don't want to hide this any longer. I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering, what could have happened if I told you._

_I hope to be able to visit you more often. I really want to be with you, even if you don't know that I'm there. I want to sit by your side, hold your hand and stroke your hair. Ha, sappy me I know. But the heart wants what the heart wants.__ I hope that you won't hate me when you read this. I hope that you won't judge me and burn this before thinking it through. But if that's what you want there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. But for now I'm just going to be there for you, no matter what will happen when you wake up._

_Yours sincerely_

_Hermione _

_**This was probably very stupid of me, to start writing this when I already have another Fan Fiction going. But I got this idea earlier today and I just really wanted it on paper before I forgot it. **_

_**Please tell me what you think, and if you think I should continue this story.**_


	2. Second Letter

**Second Letter**

_May 6__th__ 1998, St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries_

_Dear Draco,_

_I never expected to write a second letter, but now I'm sitting here in the hospital next to you and watching you sleep. Your chest is gently rising and sinking in perfect rhythm with your breath. Your eyes are gently closed and your hair is tickling your chin. All in all you look perfect. The last letter I wrote was so deliberating that as I was sitting here watching you I just had to write another one. And I can't promise that this will be the last letter._

_When I arrived here at the hospital your mother was just leaving. She gave me the evil eye and I hurried and said that I was here to visit Neville who was hurt during the battle. I don't know if she believed me or not but she left and I was free to go in your room. So here I am. And I've been here for the last hour just watching you. I told that Harry that I was going to see the Weasleys, which I will as soon as I can find it in my heart to leave you._

_This is the first time I've really visited you, but it will be quite a while before I can visit you next. I'm going to Australia to get my parents. Before Harry, Ron and I set out to find Horcruxes I bewitched my parents to forget about me and go to Australia, so the Death Eater couldn't find them and hurt them to get to me. The only one who can make my parents themselves again is me, so I have to go to Australia to lift the spell and get them home. I don't know long it will take, but I promise to send you a letter from Melbourne. _

_Do you remember me writing in my last letter about some feelings I've had for you? Well writing that last letter got me thinking. Imagine how different our lives would be if we had never been enemies. _

_I don't know about you, but I have no trouble imagining it. In my mind we are standing on the steps in front of the Hogwarts Castle right before the sorting in our first year. I bet you remember that. You offered Harry your friendship and he declined. But what if he hadn't? If he had accepted your offer while stile remaining friends with Ron. Then there would have been three people rescuing me from the troll in the girl's lavatory. And I would have three best friends. _

_No matter what you think of Ron, Harry and I we really aren't that different. The only thing that makes us different is our upbringing. I don't want to say anything negative about the way you were raised, but you must know by now, that the values your parents have embedded in you are wrong. Muggles are people just as much as Wizards are. Of course 'the Golden Trio' were never angels either. At times we were just as bad as you, if not worse. We enjoyed annoying you just as much as you enjoyed getting to us. So the fault wasn't entirely yours. But if we had just started out on neutral grounds instead of with prejudice we could definitely have been friends._

_As I was saying before we actually have a lot in common. Harry and Ron might not show it all that often, but they are both very smart and talented. And I know that so are you. We could have had some very interesting and stimulating conversations. Perhaps not in our first year but you know what I mean._

_And when Harry, Ron and I were looking for the Philosopher's stone we could have had another man at hand. And you would have been helpful as Hell. You might not know this but in order to find the stone we had to go through all of these tests. Ron got seriously hurt during our third test, a life-size wizard chess game, where we were also a part of the game. Well, Ron got hurt but I couldn't stay with him because Harry still needed my help with the next test. And this is where you could have been a real asset. The test was a potions test to try and find the right potion that would allow you to go to the next test. If you had been there I could have stayed with Ron and you and Harry could have carried on without us. But you would also provide moral support in a time of need and there is no greater task for a friend. I think you would have been brilliant._

_I wish you were awake so I could tell you this in person. But I guess this is the second best thing. Oh, here's one of the healers. _

_Okay, the healer left again. She asked me if I wanted to stay the night here with you. I wanted to, but I really can't. I really have to go see the Weasleys. Besides, I don't even know if you want me here. That's really what makes this so hard. I know exactly how I feel. I know that I want to be with you every waking hour of the day, I know that my greatest wish is for you to wake up and look at me with your startling, beautiful, gray eyes, I know that I almost died when I saw you unconscious on the floor outside the Room of Requirements. But I have absolutely no way of telling if you even want me near you. I don't know if you can even tolerate me after all the years of hate and spite. You can't tell me to leave. You can't tell me to stay. I can hold your hand, but I get no response. You don't draw away from me, you don't squeeze me hand and pull me to you. You are a mystery that has been left unsolved for only 4 days and already it's driving me crazy. I hate when there is something I don't know._

_I'm afraid I'll have to leave now. I want to pop in at Neville's before I go to the Weasley's. I'll put this letter with the first one I wrote in the drawer right next to your bed. I'm numbering the letters from now on so when you wake up you can read them in the right order. I really wish that I didn't have to leave you alone like this. What if you wake up in the middle of the night and there is no one here to take care of you? But then again the healers don't think that it will be possible for you to wake up by yourself. That's why they are frantically looking for the antidote. You're a hero, Draco. Harry has told them how you saved our lives and how he saved yours in return. Everyone wants you to wake up. So please, if you won't do it for me, then do it for your parents and for the Wizarding World. Now I really have to go. I'll write you from Australia. It would be appropriate to leave you with a kiss on your forehead, but as I said, I have no clue in that would be okay with you. So I'll settle with squeezing your hand._

_Yours sincerely_

_Hermione_

_**Please tell**__** me what you are thinking of this story so far. I'm feeling a little insecure about it but at the same time I'm really enjoying writing it. Tell me you thoughts. Please. I will hold up the next chapters till I get at least 5 reviews.**_


	3. Third Letter

**Third Letter**

_May 11__th__ 1998, Melbourne_

_My dear Draco,_

_I promised you a letter from Australia, so now I'm writing it. _

_I arrived here soundly the day before yesterday. It's a long flight from London to Australia, so as soon as I had checked into my hotel I feel asleep on the horrible bed, but I was way too exhausted to even notice the hardness of the mattress. When I woke up I discovered an almost unbearable ache in my back, but luckily I know a little charm to take care of that. So it didn't really bother me all that much._

_Breakfast wasn't the most amazing thing, just a piece of dry bread and a little butter. The breakfast at St. Mungo's is much better. After breakfast I had to go find my parents. To tell you the truth they could be anywhere in this big city. When I charmed them I never told them where in Melbourne they were going to live. Luckily I had both their real and their fake names. Their fake names could help if I wanted to find them the Muggle way. I don't know if you know what a phone is? Well, it's what Muggles use to talk to each other through when they are far apart. The great thing about phones is that everyone has their own number and then there is this big book with all numbers in it. So you just find the person's name and their phone number is right next to it. And voila, you know how to find them! But of course that's way too much trouble for a witch. Instead I used a tracking spell. And this is where their real names came in handy. I spoke the incantation and a thin silver line that only I would be able to see appeared and let me straight to my parents._

_It was a good thing I did it the Wizard way since they weren't even at home with their phone. The silver line brought me to the Carlton Gardens. I don't know if you have ever been there or even heard of it, but let me tell you something about the place anyway. And don't worry I'll try not to sound too much like a know-it-all._

_The Carlton Gardens are a UNESCO World Heritance Site, so that should give you some inkling as to how beautiful it is. If you haven't ever seen this place I promise that when you wake up I will take you here, of course if you want to. It park was reserved in 1839 when the city was growing larger. The style is clearly Victorian with various European and Australian plants. There are trees of every name all around, tall and green, and under the trees large beds of flowers stretch in all colours for the eye to devour. In the park there is also the building for the Melbourne International Exhibition. The building was finished in 1880 and is an impressing large, white building with a dome. It was surrounded by all this beauty that I found my parents._

_They were standing close together my father's arm around my mother's waist. Their heads were close together and they looked like they were whispering happily to one another as I approached them from behind. When I cast the spell on them I told them that they didn't have any children. So of course they wouldn't remember me. They looked so happy like newlyweds, and I seriously considered not lifting the spell. My mind was screaming at me that I had nothing more than create trouble for them. It was clear that they were happy here, happy not knowing that they had a daughter who loved them. Perhaps I should just leave them be and let them have their own lives. I had almost made up my mind to do so when they turned around and I saw their faces looking at me. I have always looked mostly like my mom but there is a large part of my dad in me as well, my hair for one. When they looked at me I couldn't stop a little tear from running down my cheek and a sob from itching its way through my chest. My mother, who clearly didn't recognise me, looked at me with pity. I almost just shouted 'mom' and ran to her, but I kept the cream within me and started turning to leave. But that was when her soft voice was carried to me by the wind._

"_What's the matter darling?" she asked with concern in her voice._

_She sounded so much like my mother, granted she was still my mother then but she didn't know that, that I abandoned all thoughts of leaving them. Perhaps I'm incredibly selfish but I simply couldn't image living in a world without my parents. Sure Mrs. Weasley would be fast to adopt me and offer me a room in the Burrow, and Harry would probably give me my own floor at Grimmauld Place, but neither of those places would ever feel like home if my parents couldn't be there once in a while. So I chickened out of what was probably the right thing to do. I lifted the spell with the one word I was sure they were never going to hear by accident in Melbourne, "Horcrux". Perhaps not the most creative word, but when I cast the spell that was what was on my mind and I knew, that there were only a handful of very powerful wizard who knew anything about Horcruxes. And they would never, ever speak publicly about them._

_As soon as I had said the words, with tears rolling down my cheeks, my parents blinked and looked at me with new eyes. First they were confused but when they really saw me, they ran to me with open arms and hugged me tight. It had been a while since I last felt so safe and new tears of happiness joined the others. Also my parents were crying, while they were laughing and hugging me._

_After that they took me back to where they had been living for the last year. It was a cosy little apartment just right for a newlywed couple. They gave me the tour before we settled down in the living room. There I had to devote a lot of time to tell my parents about all that had been going on in the last year._

_We have moved all my stuff from the hotel and to their apartment so I am staying here in Melbourne till Friday. Then I'm going home to England and my parents will follow as soon as they can sell the apartment and quit their jobs._

_Right now I'm sitting in the living room on the couch that will be my bed for the next three days. My parents don't know that I'm writing to you. They think this is a letter for Neville. I have already finished letters for Ron and Harry, so when my parents saw the envelope for this letter, addressed to St. Mungo's, they asked me who the letter was for. I don't know why I didn't tell them that the letter was for you. But for some reason I didn't feel that they would approve. I haven't exactly told them the best things about you, and I regret that now. But what is done is done and I told them that the letter was for Neville._

_I'm very much looking forward to coming home. I look forward to see all my friends again – and I look forward to seeing you again._

_Yours sincerely – even in Australia_

_Hermione_

_**I want to thank all my reviewers, you made me believe in this story so much that I'm set on finishing it.**_

_**But even then, please tell me what you're thinking :D**_


	4. Fourth Letter

**Fourth Letter**

_May 15__th__ 1998, Grimmauld Place_

_Dearest Draco,_

_Now I'm home again while my parents are still in Australia. Harry selfishly offered me my room back till I can go home to our house. I like living here so much that I fear I might never really move back. Besides I think Harry would get a little lonely without me. Sure he has Teddy, but Teddy is just a few months old and not really great company unless you enjoy changing diapers and burping. I don't even know if Harry can take care of him alone. And at Grimmauld Place I'm in London and closer to you. I know. Stupid reason for staying. I don't even know if you want me anywhere near to you. This is harder than I ever thought it would be. Merlin._

_You know, there was never a time when I hated you more than during our second year. That was when I thought that you were the heir of Slytherin and had made it your purpose in life to rid Hogwarts of all Muggleborn. To begin with I didn't think that you had it in you to be so mean. But both Harry and Ron were convinced that you were the one. And I am ashamed to say that I caved. I've regretted that ever since. My point is that the time I hated you the most I hated you for no reason at all. That is really weird to think about._

_Just think about how different it would have been if you were also our friend during the second year. For once we would never suspect you of being out to get Muggleborns. And that horrid duel between you and Harry would never have gotten out of hand. But you would have been there with Harry and Ron in the Chamber of Secrets when I couldn't. That's another thing I know about you that reminds me of Harry and Ron. You are loyal beyond all else. That's how I can tell for sure that you wouldn't abandon Ginny, Harry and Ron. I am certain that you would be in that chamber with them. Something I even think that perhaps you would have visited me in the Hospital Wing when I was petrified. Harry and Ron both visited me and I hope that your range of loyalty would include me. I would have liked to know that you were with me even if I couldn't sense you there. Kind of like when I go to visit you._

_When I woke up this morning, after flying all of yesterday, I went straight to the Hospital. Harry caught me on my way out and asked me where I was going. Once again I played the Neville card. And that was when Harry told me that Neville had been released from St. Mungo's. I swear to Merlin All Mighty that I blushed so hard that my face must have looked like it was going to explode. I stammered trying to find something clever to say. But for once my words failed me. Then Harry looked at me with knowing, piercing, green eyes. He smiled, hugged me and whispered in my ear, "Go see him, Hermione."_

_I still don't know if he was talking about Neville or you. It could have been both. He might have figured out how I feel for you. Or he might think I have those feelings for Neville. With Harry there is really no telling of what he might know. That boy is a mystery._

_Well, I went to the Hospital and found your room easily. You were alone so I went inside and sat in the chair next to your bed. I took your hand. Sorry if you don't like that, but I couldn't just look at you and nothing else. A healer entered the room and I asked him if they had made any progress while I was gone. He was very polite when he told me that unfortunately they hadn't gotten any closer to a cure. But, he added, they were still optimistic. Then he left and you and I were left alone. But your solitude didn't last for long. Suddenly your mother entered the room at it was clear that she didn't like me sitting there with you. Quickly I abandoned the chair, stood up and offered her my hand. She looked at it like it was poisonous. I don't blame her really. Like you she doesn't know the real me. _

"_What are you doing here?" she demanded to know._

_I guess that it's easier to lie to strangers than to your friends, because the lie just rolled of my tongue like ice-cream rolls down an ice-cream cone on a warm day. I told her that I had only come to see you to thank you for saving my life. I think your mother smiled a little at that. She must be really proud of you, Draco. You are lucky to have her. Once the words were spoken I excused myself and left you two alone. I still don't feel like I have any business interrupting your life._

_It still confused me beyond everything that I feel all of these things for you, but you can't even tell me if I am out of line. You can't even me some inkling as to your thoughts since you have yet to learn mine. If only I had told you sooner. We wouldn't have this problem then. I could have told you when Fenrir captured us and took us to your home. I could have told you when you saved our lives. You never told them that you knew us. I know, Draco, that you recognized us. But you didn't rat us out. I should have told you just then, when I was sure I was going to die. Only I didn't. No, I decided to wait and wait and wait, and look where that got me. My supposed brilliant mind is not so brilliant when it comes to the social stuff I guess. _

_True I have never really wanted to deal with any of those things. Whenever something upset me, which was usually you or Ron, I hid myself behind my brain and my books. It has always been my defence mechanism and my way to escape reality and cruelty. I am aware know that that was the wrong way to handle things. But as they say, you learn from your mistakes. I'm just afraid that I learned this lesson to late. I wish you would wake up and tell me if I have any reason to hope. Or if my dreams will always remain just that. Dreams._

_Your_

_Hermione_

_**REVIEW! Haha, needy am I?**_


	5. Fifth Letter

**Fifth Letter**

_May 19__th__ 1998, Grimmauld Place_

_Dear Draco,_

_I really don't know why I'm writing you today. I guess I just felt like it. Isn't that weird? We've know each other for 7 years without _really_ knowing one another. And now i just want to talk to you all the time. You probably think me crazy. So would my friends if they knew about this. But I won't deny my feelings because I'm afraid of being judged. I just hope that when this comes out in the open, I'm thinking that it has to at some point that my friends will accept my feelings and not question them._

_So, what to write? You probably don't care about how my day was. You probably won't care to know that Teddy has been laughing a lot lately. But then again I could be wrong about you. That definitely wouldn't be the first time that happened. I mean, how wrong about you haven't I been up until now?_

_That just got me thinking, remember our third year? I would have loved to be your friend during that year. It would have saved me some sore knuckles. And you wouldn't have teased Harry with his Dementor-problem. I wonder if you even know why Harry fainted when he was near a Dementor. I think I'll tell you anyway. There has been so much bad blood between all of us that it is time we clear the air. Merlin, if Harry knew I was doing this. He would probably throw a fit. But that's the great thing about Harry. After he has gotten it out of his system he is able to forgive and forget. But to get back on track, you of course know that Dementors feed on happy memories. They take all happiness away until you are left with nothing but horrid images and memories. And this is where Harry has his problem. You see, he doesn't have that many happy memories and to top it all off he has seen true horrors that none of us can even begin to fathom. Just think of the first year of his life; his parents were killed, his mother killed as she was standing in front of him and trying to protect him and after this he was sent to live with his aunt and uncle that never even wanted him and much less liked him. So when Harry was near a Dementor the good memories would be consumed awfully fast and he would be left with more than terrible memories. It is even so bad that he could hear his mother scream and his dad being killed before passing out from the sheer pain. I just thought you should know about that._

_I was also thinking that perhaps you could have needed a caring friend when you were in the Hospital Wing after Buckbeak. And I would gladly have been there for you. I would have sat with you in the Hospital Wing and stroked your hand, gotten you water when you were thirsty and scratched you when you had an itch. And we would have talked for as long as you were up to it. I always imagine that our talks would be insanely interesting. We are both fairly opinionated people so we could have some very passionate discussions. I would have loved that as I think you would. If only we weren't enemies._

_I went to see you again yesterday. Your mother was nowhere to be seen and when I asked a healer about it she told me that she had gone home crying. Your sickness is really getting to her. And the funny thing is that I have never seen your father in St. Mungo's. I hope that he isn't too sad about you illness to visit you. Hopefully he is ready to take care of your mother no matter how he feels himself. I won't judge your fathers parenting skills, I've already made my views clear on that in a former letter, but I seriously think that he might be changed. You didn't see him during the battle, you were already unconscious. But both he and your mother were franticly looking for you, ignoring the hectic battle ramping around their ears. Your mother even saved Harry's life when he told her that you weren't dead. She is a truly remarkable person. Even if she doesn't like me. And I'm sure that she would never approve if anything where to happen between the two of us. _

_Look at me rambling again getting way ahead of myself. Once again I'm forgetting that you don't even know about my feelings. And I don't even think I have made them truly clear through these letters. The truth is, Draco that I'm in love with you. So you see why this whole thing is so frustrating for me. And this is also the reason why I'm desperately praying for you to wake up. I want you to wake up, look me in the eye and tell me if you feel something too. If the ink on this parchment is smeared it's probably because I am now crying. You couldn't possibly know how I feel right now._

_Okay I just needed a little break from everything, but now I'm back again and I want to tell you, what I started off by saying before the whole crying-business. I went to visit you yesterday in the Hospital and this time when the healer asked if I wanted to spend the night I said yes. This was right after she had told me that they were making progress in finding your antidote. I felt so happy that I simply couldn't say no when the healer asked me. All the thoughts I had had last time about being afraid of you not wanting me there disappeared when I realized that you could possibly wake up soon, and you probably didn't want to be alone when that happened. While the healer was fixing my bed next to yours I used their floo-network to tell Harry that I wouldn't come home for the night. But idiot as I was I told him that I was sleeping at Ginny's. Of course whit Harry being Ginny's boyfriend he knew that this wasn't true. But he didn't say anything about it. Instead he dropped by at the Hospital this morning with Teddy on his hip. He strode into your room just as I was packing away the bed. His smile was wide and knowing and now I had my answer, he finally knew that I had been visiting you the many times I had told him I was visiting Neville. But he didn't make a fuss about it as I had imagined he would. Instead he was very supportive and he even approved, if there is even anything to approve. On our way out we met your mother. She didn't even look at us._

_I hope you will soon wake up so you can read this letters. For now that is all I'll pray for._

_Yours sincerely_

_Hermione_

_**I could really use some reviews here! I'm getting a little out f touch with the story so if someone could please reassure me or at least tell me what to do differently please review!**_


	6. Sixth Letter

**Sixth Letter**

_May 22th 1998, Grimmauld Place_

_Dearest Draco,_

_I've just received a letter from my parents today. They have quit their jobs but it's going to be awhile before they can sell the house. They don't know how long but they probably won't be home for the next couple of months. I've written them a reply where I've told them that I'll probably be staying with Harry even though they are coming home. I hope they won't take it too bad, but I just can't leave Harry alone with Teddy and the big house. Granted, he has Kreacher and Molly has been visiting a lot lately. But the house is still enormous and it gets really quiet very fast. And we love living together just as we both love Teddy. _

_I've also decided to go back to Hogwarts to finish my last year. Harry and Ron aren't going back. Ron is working with George at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, Fred and George joke-shop. But if you remember I told you in a former letter that Fred had been killed during the Battle of Hogwarts (strange name isn't it? I mean, we weren't fighting for Hogwarts we were fighting for our freedom and Muggle-rights), and Ron offered George his help. Harry isn't going back foremost because of Teddy but he has also received an offer from the Auror Office. They want him to go through Auror training even if he doesn't have his Hogwarts diploma. They figured that with all the things he has been through he could still be useful to them. If he makes it he'll be the youngest Auror ever. But I won't be going back alone. Ginny still needs to finish her last year and so does Dean Thomas. There are probably many others but these two I know that you know. I don't know if you will be returning as well, I mean you were drawn out of school during Easter if I heard correctly, so you also didn't get to finish your last year. I hope that you know that if you decide to go back you'll have at least one friend there. If you'll have me._

_Your room at St. Mungo's has been quite abandoned lately. I've gone to see you twice and both times your mother wasn't there. I think this whole thing might be taking a toll on her. I know I would feel that way if I was her. I didn't stay longer either of the times I saw you. The first time I just dropped by to give you the last letter and the second time I just checked up on you. I talked to one of the healers and they are still optimistic. They have ruled out several possibilities in order to find the right antidote for you. But even so there are still many other possibilities to go through. However we are all still keeping our fingers crossed._

_And God, did I have crossed fingers during our fourth year? I have never in my life been as anxious as when Harry was in the Triwizard Tournament. We all knew that Harry's name was put in the Goblet of Fire because someone wished for him to die during the Tournament. He could have used your loyal support as a friend then. And we could all have used your brain to solve the riddles. In my girly fantasies that are so unlike me I have imagined how you would have asked me to the Yule Ball. And I would have been happy to accept you. Neither Ron nor Harry realised that I was just as much a girl as Fleur Delacour or Cho Chang. But I'm sure that you would know. You wouldn't just see me as 'one of the guys', and therefore you would ask me as soon as the Yule Ball was proclaimed. And then I wouldn't have to go with Viktor. Not that I object to that, I still had a wonderful evening and me and Viktor are still friends, but I would have preferred to be with you. We would have danced all night. I'm certain that you are a very skilful and graceful dancer. Perhaps you would even have kissed me under the mistletoe before we said goodnight and went to bed. Oh, here I go again with silly fantasies. I can't turn back time. I once could, did you know that? in our third year I had to many classes that Professor McGonagall gave me a Time-Turner so I could get to all my classes. But after that year I had to return the Time-Turner and during our fifth year Harry, Ron, Neville, Luna, Ginny and I destroyed the Ministry's supply of Time-Turner's. So there is now no way for me to go back in time and change this. And even if I had a Time-Turner I wouldn't use it. Time is a complicated thing so there is no way of knowing how one, tiny little change could possibly affect the present and the future._

_The second time I visited you in the Hospital Harry came with me. He has been a true friend. Not only has he let me stay in his house with him but he has also supported me beyond anything I would have imagined. Ron would never have done such a thing as visiting you. It's not because he isn't a good friend. He is just so stubborn sometimes. And I'm afraid he is very stubborn in his views and opinions of you. It will be a very long time before he accepts the change in you, I tell you. I've seen it building for the last two years but Ron doesn't _want_ to see it. Right now I understand him. His life is so turbulent after Fred's death that he doesn't need another disturbance. But sooner or later he has to face the truth; that you are no longer the evil bastard you once were, sorry for the language. You truly have changed. I don't know what has caused this change but it warms my heart and gives me hope. Hope that there is still some good in this world. And hope that not all things are certain and carved in stone._

_I will end this letter now with a final plea. A plea for you to wake up and start living again. that is all I ask of you and this magical world. For now at least._

_Yours truly_

_Hermione_

_**I really want to thank all the **__**reviewers that got me to write this chapter. As I said in the fifth chapter I was losing touch with the story and didn't feel it anymore. That was mostly because the reviews had stopped coming, and you don't realize how much you have been depending on the reviews as you write. How much you actually use them.**_

_**So if you want this story to continue please review. Also if you only have one word or two to say about it. It really makes is easier to write and keep writing.**_


	7. Seventh Letter

**Seventh Letter**

_May 28__th__ 1998, St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries_

_Dear Draco,_

_I'm writing this letter to you after having spent yet another night with you in the Hospital. I just woke up to find you as silent and still as ever. I had a dream about you. That's really why I'm writing this letter now. I dreamt that you woke up. And you saw me sleeping there next to you. But you weren't mad or angry. You were surprised but happily surprised. Then you found my letters and read them. In my dream you cried even though I know you would never do that in real life. After you had read the letters you went to sleep with your arm around me. And when I woke up I half expected to feel your arm around my waist and you body pressed against mine. But you haven't moved one centimetre since I fell asleep. So my foolish dream was just a dream. Do you believe that your hopes and wishes can be reflected in your dreams? That you want something so much that your brain gives it to you, if only for a little while? I think I do._

_Harry and I had a talk about you after I visited you the last time to drop of my last letter. He calls me naïve for believing that you have changed. He is still supportive, but he thinks that believe in you all too much. Don't get me wrong, he sees a change in you too. Just not as much as I do. So he calls me naïve, in a sweet protective way that is, and warns me not to trust you too much. He doesn't want me to get hurt. With all the terrible things I've witnessed in my life I shouldn't be naïve so I don't see myself that way- I have first hand experienced your change so the only logic step for me to take is to trust you. That is the way I do it. Harry isn't judging me or anything, he is just being a good friend. He thinks I should tell Ron, but I don't know about that. We have a history, you know._

_Or I guess that you don't and I don't know if I should tell you. I mean this isn't my diary it's a letter. And it's even a letter to someone I'm in love with. And here the never ending problem resurfaces. I don't even know if you want to know. Oh Merlin, I am going crazy! I'm in love with someone I have considered my enemy ever since I first met him! And he doesn't even know it, may never know it even! It would have been easier if we had been friends because then I would at least know that you liked me on some level. Right now I don't even know if you can tolerate me. Merlin, this is almost more that my brain can handle! Okay, I'm just going to tell you about Ron and forget everything else. You deserve to know this no matter what you feel about me. If you don't want to read this just ignore it. There, the choice is yours to make._

_Well, there has always been something between Ron and me. Right from our first fight there has been this spark. As I told you in my last letter he refrained from asking me to the Yule Ball because I was just 'one of the guys'. But I've also always thought that there was something more than that. During the Battle of Hogwarts I got my answer. Right before we entered the Room of Requirement, where you were injured, Ron and I kissed. That's why I think that Ron was always secretly in love with me, but just didn't know how to show it or even accept it. Well, if you are reading this you are probably wondering about what happened next. Well, the kiss surprised me, even though I initiated it. Afterwards it was a little embarrassing but then everything got so hectic. I was prepared to try with Ron, but when you were injured I felt my heart spasm in fright and pain and I knew that I simply couldn't give up on you. So when the battle ended and we were all hospitalized I had to tell Ron that I couldn't go through with us. That it had to stop at the kiss. Ron didn't take it all that good, he was sad as Hell. He didn't talk to me until the day I wrote you my second letter to you. That day I told you that I was visiting the Weasley's after leaving St. Mungo's. Well I apparated to the Burrow where Ron refused to talk to me. The other Weasley's called him stupid and a moron until he finally came down from his room and agreed to talk to me. I once again told him that I didn't have those feelings for him but that I still loved him like a friend and a brother. We talked for a while before he finally forgave me and we made peace. _

_Well, if there was something we didn't have in our fifth year it was peace. There was so much trouble with Professor Umbridge. Of course you never felt that trouble since you helped cause it. But I don't want to think about that, because it was after that year that I first sensed your change. Perhaps the change was spurred on by the fact that our father went to jail after the battle in the Department of Mysteries. Of course there is no way that I can say what kind of impact your father has on you – I only know the little things that I haven't even experienced myself. Harry told me how your father treated Dobby. Of course it isn't fair of me to think that he would treat you the same way but that doesn't really bode well for your father in my opinion. But I know from the way your father was searching for you during the Battle of Hogwarts that he loves you. And so does your mother. You are a pretty lucky guy._

_Well, I'll have to stop for now. Harry is expecting me home. I really hope you'll be coming around soon. Especially since you birthday is coming up. Your 18__th__ birthday, you really should be conscious to experience that. Please wake up._

_Hermione_

_**I really **__**could use some more reviews. I love them!**_


	8. Eighth Letter

**Eighth Letter**

_June 1__st__ 1998, Grimmauld Place_

_Dear Draco,_

_I finally received a letter from my parents. I've been so anxious to know what they had to say about me wanting to stay with Harry. Of course they are sad that I won't be living with them anymore, but more than that they are proud of me and believe that I am old enough to live on my own. Besides they trust Harry and they know that neither them nor the Weasley-family will be too far away. So now I am officially moving out of my parents' home and into my own. I won't be alone, of course, but I'll still be without my parents. I wonder if you ever thought of moving away from your parents._

_Well, your birthday is getting closer but the healers aren't any closer to finding an antidote for you. I think they are beginning to lose hope. Of course they aren't able to spend all of their time on you, they have other patients as well, but you have only been in the coma for a month, they shouldn't already give up. I have thought about perhaps helping them. I'm not a healer and I don't know a lot about healing magic, but what they are trying to solve is a riddle and I'm usually pretty good at that. Perhaps I should offer my help. Maybe I can be of some help. It's not like I'm doing anything right now, I'm just waiting for you to wake up and school to start. Yeah, I think I'll help them. One way or another._

_Merlin, I hope you'll wake up soon. I saw you mother yesterday. It was the first time in a long time that I had seen her at the Hospital. We passed each other as she went out and I went in. she was clutching something to her chest and her eyes were red. I think she had been crying possibly over the thing she was holding on to. I don't know what it was. Well, of course I didn't say anything to her. What could I say? Dear Mrs. Malfoy I know you don't like me, but I'm in love with your son so will you let me console you? I don't think so. So I let her go and went to visit you. The healers have grown quite accustomed to me. Whenever they see me they greet me and give me the news about you. Some of them always eye me like I'm insane. They have probably heard about our, erm, differences and wonder what I'm doing visiting you all the time. But I'm not going to tell them. All I've said is that I've laid our differences aside and that I'm genuinely concerned about you. When I mention my concern for you it seems like they put in a little extra effort into finding the antidote. I guess being a war hero pays off._

_I have already told you that you are now also considered somewhat of a hero. Not like Ron, Harry and me but when Harry told everyone about you heroically defended us, they proclaimed you a war hero. But I've already considered you a hero before that. Harry told me about the night you were supposed to murder Dumbledore. He told me about how you couldn't complete your mission, that you couldn't kill him. But just imagine how different that year would have been if we were friends. First of all you probably wouldn't even me given the mission in the first place. Your life would have been so much easier. It was also during this year that began developing feelings for you. I imagine how when Ron got together with Lavender you would have been there to comfort me and make me feel better. Then I would have told you about me feelings and hopefully you would tell me the same thing back. You would put your arms around me and hold me close to you in a loving embrace. After holding me close you would slowly bend your head down and let your lips brush over mine. You would pull away and look me deep in the eyes, looking for reassurance. I would smile at you, put my arms around your neck and kiss you with more intensity. Merlin in the sky, I can't believe I just told you that. You must surely think that I'm a foolish little girl that spends all her time dreaming and fantasising about things that never happened and probably never will. _

_Harry is still pressuring me to tell Ron about how I feel about you. I haven't given in just yet. It's not that I don't to share my personal life with Ron or anything. I'm just not sure if he would be able to handle the truth. He is really good ad holding grudges against people. And we've just gotten over the whole awkward state. I don't want to spoil it. Perhaps I should tell Ginny and ask her what she thinks. She knows her brother better than I do, even though I consider him a brother as well. Perhaps she will be able to know if he is capable of handling the shock. Somehow I don't doubt that Ginny will be okay with it. Lately she has been bugging me to get a boyfriend. She will be pleased to know that I'm not hollow inside, that I'm actually capable of falling in love. I'm sure she'll be all right with this. She'll probably even be supportive and happy. Don't be surprised if she starts visiting you as well._

_Okay, then this is settled. Right after I've gone to visit you I'll go to see Ginny. Or perhaps I'll just invite her over. She'll be happy to come by. I don't know if you know that Harry and Ginny are a couple? Well, they are so I think I'll just invite her over. But now I'm going to finish this letter, and go by the Hospital to drop it off. I can't wait to see you and hear if the healers have come up with something new._

_Your_

_Hermione_

_**Reviews are**__** greatly appreciated. Actually they are needed!**_


	9. Ninth Letter

**Ninth Letter**

_June 5__th__ 1998, Grimmauld Place_

_Draco,_

_Happy birthday. We were all hoping that today would be the day you woke up, but it hasn't happened. You are still in a coma. The healers did though make a breakthrough two days ago. I was visiting you when a healer came into your room and asked me to leave because they wanted to test an antidote. I told him that I couldn't do that because I wanted to be there and possibly help if I could. First he looked at me like I was crazy but then he suddenly smiled and said, "Well, you are Hermione Granger. You might be able to do something." Then we both went to your side and I watched as he gave you the antidote. Nothing happened at first and the healer sighed heavily and was about to leave when you suddenly went rigid. I grabbed your hand, hoping that you would now wake up. But instead you started shaking all over and I became scared that you might die, but then I looked over at the healer and he was smiling widely. Of course he wouldn't do that if you were dying so I took it as a good thing. I asked him what your reaction meant and I told me that it meant we were getting closer. We talked for about an hour after you stopped shaking and we worked out a schedule for me to help him and the other healers. So I'm working with every other day from 8-13._

_I stopped by the Hospital earlier today to visit you for your birthday. But your mother was in the room and it looked like she was crying so I didn't want to disturb her. I think I'll come by again later to drop of this letter and your birthday present. I'll leave the present in the same drawer as the letters. When you wake up I hope you'll find all the things I've left for you._

_Oh, by the way I talked to Ginny. I invited her over just like I told you I would in my last letter. She was thrilled to get the invitation so when she arrived I had made cookies and tea for us and we were sitting in the kitchen like in the old days, before this blasted war. It was just the two of us and we were talking like only girls can talk. Well, of course Ginny didn't think that I just invited her by to be silly girls again. So she asked me what was troubling me and I just blurted it out. At first she was choked and blindsided but suddenly I saw tears running down her cheeks. She started sobbing and threw her arms around me in a tight hug. When she finally released me again, she told me that she was sorry for me. I didn't understand why she would feel sorry for me. Did she also think that I was being naïve? But she told me that she was sorry for me because you were in a coma and that was when I realised just how much I love Ginny. We hugged again and this time I was crying as well, both for you and for me but also of joy because I have such a wonderful friend. At that moment Harry walked into the kitchen, saw us close together and weeping and he just put his arms around both of us and hugged us comfortingly. I swear I have the best friends in the world. I have never loved those two more than I did when we were together in that kitchen. Well, after that Harry joined us and I told them both that I wanted to know if I should tell Ronald about my feelings for you. You know if he would be able to accept the truth. Harry of course said that he would, he has as much blind faith in Ron as I have in you, but Ginny was more hesitant like me. But even though she didn't know if he could cope with it she still told me to tell him. Just because he's my best friend and I owe him to tell him the truth. After our conversation Ginny went with Harry to his room and I took care of Teddy. When they came down for dinner I had prepared Chinese for them, which they both love. We ate with good appetite and when it was time for Ginny to go home I decided to go with her. Harry knew right away what I was planning on doing gave me a hug and wished me good luck before we used the Floo Network to go to the Burrow. _

_When we landed in the Weasley's living room I was greeted by multiple hugging people, first Mrs. Weasley, then Ron, Mr. Weasley and last George who was visiting for the day. Mrs. Weasley asked about my parents and I told her that they had set the house for sale so they could be home any day. After all the pleasantries I took Ron by the arm, saying that I needed to talk to him as a friend and we went to his room. You of course know that the Burrow isn't the largest house in the world. And therefore Ron's room isn't large at all. There just enough room for his bed and a small dresser. The walls are graced with several posters of the Chudley Canons, pictures of his large family and a single picture of him, Harry and me. We sat down on his bed and I began telling him about you. I quickly realized that I had held it in me for too long, that I had longed to tell him for a long time and when I started talking there was no shutting me up. When I reached present time and my story was at an end I looked at Ron so see how he was handling my story. His eyes were wide open and the same was his mouth. He looked like he was in chock and I didn't know what to do or say. I reached out to take his hand but he jerked away from me, got up and left the room without a word. I probably think that I have betrayed him. And the funny thing is that I don't blame him. After that I didn't have anything to do in the Burrow. I knew better than to try and talk to Ron. He needed time to cool down and when that happened he would seek me out and we would talk once again. I went home to Grimmauld Place after saying goodbye to the Weasley's. At home Harry was waiting for me, and before I could tell him what had happened he had grabbed me in a tight hug. He told me that he could see that things hadn't gone as they should. We talked a little before going to bed._

_The next morning I went to the kitchen to make a pot of tea. I knew that Harry was still sleeping so when I saw that the lights were on in the kitchen I got confused and a little scarred. I drew my wand and was instantly ready for battle. I entered the kitchen with a defensive spell ready but when I opened the door I saw that it was Ron standing in there. I was dumbstruck since I hadn't expected him so soon. The first thing he said was, "Sorry" and then he hugged me. We talked for a little while. He told me that he wasn't happy with who I had fallen in love with but also knew that you can't control things like that so he wanted to be supportive since he didn't want this to be any harder on me than it already was. After that he left. So we are on good terms again._

_Last time we really fell apart was during the war when we were looking for the Horcruxes. We were all testy and irritated but for Ron it was the worst. And one day he couldn't stand it anymore. We weren't getting anywhere in our search, we were hungry and we were cut off from society. So Ron left us to stay with his brother Bill and his wife. If you had been there with us I don't think you could have made him stay with us. Ronald is stubborn and when two best friends couldn't hold him in one place then three best friends wouldn't make a difference either. But you could have been there to comfort me. Don't get me wrong, Harry did all he could. But I would have been more comfortable with you there, I actually think, since in my imagination we would be dating. _

_But it's a waste of time to imagine thinks as they could have been. __You have to stay in the present but still have an eye for the future. In my future I see you. And I hope that once you wake up and read these letters that you will see me in your future somehow._

_Yours sincerely_

_Hermione_

_**Please review!**_


	10. Tenth Letter

**Tenth Letter**

_June 7__th__ 1998, Grimmauld Place_

_Dearest Draco,_

_I had the weirdest day yesterday. You'll never guess who came to see me with tears pouring down her cheeks. Narcissa Malfoy, your mother._

_Harry had just gone for a walk with Teddy. They were going to Hyde Park, he said and then perhaps to London Eye just for the fun of it. In all, I shouldn't expect them home too soon. That didn't bother, being all alone for an hour or two. Instead I lit the fire in the fireplace in the small upstairs drawing room, sat on the large comfortable couch with a mug of tea, a chocolate brownie and a good book 'The Hobbit' by J.R.R. Tolkien. Although I have read that book numerous times it doesn't get bored. I had everything set up for a nice afternoon at home, so you can imagine how irritated I was when I heard somebody knocking on the door. I placed a bookmark in the book, expecting to be back again soon after telling whoever was at the door to sod off. I went down the stairs and through the narrow hallway till I reached the front door. I stood still in front of the door and put on my best 'sorry-but-you-aren't-welcome'-smile and opened the door. Well, it's safe to say that my smile faltered and crumpled as soon as I saw Narcissa's teary face._

"_Narcissa!" I said in blank disbelief. "What are you doing here?"_

_She opened her mouth to answer me, but all that came from her were hysterical, small sobs. I was totally confused and didn't know what to do. Did I hug her? Sent her away? Ask her if she wanted to get some tea? I decided to at first just step aside and ask her inside. She nodded politely and entered the house looking curiously around her. I cleared my throat loudly which made her return her attention to me. I asked her if she wanted some tea and she nodded in reply. I led her to the kitchen and quickly made another mug before leading her to the upstairs drawing room. Once again she looked around the room before I asked her to sit on the couch while I took Sirius large armchair. _

"_I haven't been here in years," she suddenly said. "You sure have made it a lot more comfortable."_

_I wasn't in the mood for her to beat around the bush. She had interrupted my comfortable alone-time and cried on my doorstep.__ She owed me and explanation which I demanded not too kindly. She didn't answer me but instead she just pulled a bundle of letters from her black shoulder purse. At first I didn't recognize them but then I saw my handwriting on the top letter reading 'First Letter'. My mind went blank. You mother had my letters for you! I snapped my head to look at her. She was crying openly again._

"_What are you doing with these?" I asked her still not pleasantly. "Have you read them?"_

_For a while it looked like she didn't even hear me, but when nodded I felt anger rise in my body. She had no reason whatsoever to read personal letters meant for you, her son. Sure enough, you aren't able to read them yourself, but that doesn't give her the right to read them. _

"_I want you to leave," I said through clenched teeth._

_Your mother took a deep breath but didn't get up to leave. I tapped my fingers on the armrest on the chair and glared angrily at her._

"_I'm not going just yet," Narcissa said and took a sip of her tea. "I know I shouldn't have read your letters."_

_I felt a long explanation coming on, and I decided to hear her out. I'm usually not a person controlled by my impulses and feelings. I owed it to the woman to at least hear her out. I leaned back into the chair and drew my feet up under my body._

"_There is no excuse for reading those letters," Narcissa continued. "I saw you put a letter in my son's drawer one day. I was curious. After you left I went into the drawer and found the letters. At first I was mad. I didn't see what you could possibly have to say to Draco. So I opened the first letter and read it. But the more I read the more my anger evaporated from my body. When I had finished the first letter I quickly grabbed another one and just kept reading. You really are a wonderful person, Hermione Granger, and I'm sorry that I didn't notice that before now."_

_Of course I couldn't stay mad at her after that speech. She told me how my letters had made her cry, that my sincere feelings for you touched her like nothing else had in a long time. Then we talked about you, and about your father. Your mother told me about your relationship. From what I understand my view on that relationship wasn't all that wrong. I told her how I had been afraid to enter your room while she was in there, but of course she already knew that from my letters. It still bothered me a little that she had read those letters since they were so personal. They are practically a diary made for your eyes only and for me to feel better. But I couldn't mad, not when it meant that this woman had finally accepted me. She told me that she would return the letters to the drawer and tell you about them when you woke up in case I wasn't there. She didn't say if she hoped that you would return my feelings and I won't try to figure it out. We talked until we heard Harry and Teddy coming home. Harry yelled through the house that he was back and Narcissa suddenly rose from her chair and began to excuse herself. She said she didn't want to steal anymore of my time. I escorted her to the front door where Harry was taking of Teddy's jacket. When Harry saw Narcissa he first looked suspicious but then he looked at me at instantly became more relaxed. He greeted her and was a perfect gentleman when he opened the door for her. She left with a little nod and a promise to come visit again._

_Yesterday I was at the Hospital for the first time to help the healers come up with an antidote. They showed me all the ones they had tried, and then we broke out the last one they had tried, the one that had finally spurred a reaction from you. We quickly decided to work off of that. Before I left we had made the base for anew antidote that should be ready for testing tomorrow when I'm going back to the Hospital. Also before I left I swung by your room just to look at your resting face. You look so serene and beautiful. I hope I will be able to make a difference and be there when you wake up._

_Your_

_Hermione_

_**Hope you enjoyed this new chapter! And congratulation to branwen-s for figuring out what Narcissa was**__** up to. Please review!**_


	11. Eleventh Letter

**Eleventh Letter**

_June 8__th__ 1998, St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries_

_My dearest Draco,_

_Today we tested the antidote we made the day before yesterday, and we got a wonderful result. You remember that I told you about the last antidote we tested on you? The one that had you shaking? Well this one was made off of the other one and this time we got something better than a shake. You clenched your right hand! When I saw that motion, that silly, little motion, my heart flipped inside my chest and began racing. It has been a while since we were last this enthusiastic, but it's looking up. After the good response from you we went back to the lab and immediately started working on a new antidote that combines this one and the former one. Hopefully we'll get another great respond from this one. _

_So after the testing and the working I couldn't bring myself to just leave without seeing you. And when I entered you room, sat down on the chair and started watching you I couldn't bring myself to leave you all together. So I stayed and I'm still here, sitting in the chair, watching you and writing you this letter. I hope that you will soon wake up and be able to read this and the other I have written for you._

_Your mother has also been by. It was a bit awkward to see her again, even though we are now quite acquainted I still feel weird around her. I'm with love with you, her son, who doesn't even know about it because you're in a coma, but your mother knows because she has read my personal letters for you. It's not that I don't like her because I really do. But it's still just weird._

_Well, when she came by I was still sitting in this chair and holding your hand. I'm a little ashamed to say that when she stepped in I got so embarrassed that I let go of your hand and stood up. She smiled at me when she walked towards me. She stopped in front of me, padded my cheek and asked me to sit back down. I did as I was told without saying a word and still your mother just kept smiling at me. She then asked how long I had been sitting there with you, and I told her the truth – 3 hours. She made big eyes at me and asked me if I had eaten in all that time. I shook my head and Narcissa's eyes grew even bigger. So she took me to late lunch/early dinner at the Hospital Cafeteria. In Muggle Hospitals the food is always awful, but in St. Mungo's the food was almost just as good as the dinners we had at Hogwarts. Narcissa and I stayed for a while at the cafeteria before we went back to you. We sat beside you for an hour before Narcissa declared that she was going home. She offered to walk me home, but I declined. I told her that I wanted to stay with you for a little while longer, you know, in case the antidote suddenly showed a side effect for the better or the worse._

_One of the healers I work with came by later to check up on you, and when she saw that I was sitting there she asked me if she should bring out the extra bed. I didn't need to think long about it before I said yes. While she prepared the bed I quickly apparated home and got the things I needed for the night. I told Harry where I was staying and he gave me a letter right before I left. I didn't get a chance to look at the letter before I was back in the hospital and had unpacked my things. It was a letter from my parents. I was a little shocked to see that, since I hadn't expected a letter from them. And the content of the letter wasn't less of a shock. Apparently their house was harder to sell than they had first anticipated. They wrote that it would be months before they could come home. And by that time I will be back in Hogwarts for my seventh and final year._

_Now the sun is setting. I'm sitting here in the chair and watching the last rays of the sun splaying across your face. It highlights you wonderful blonde hair and softens your features. I really wish you would open your eyes so I can once again look into the grey depths. Ha, here I go again the sappy girl you never knew I was. _

_I'm reading a new book, or really I'm rereading it for the third time, but I still love it. It's 'Mansfield Park' by Jane Austen. I'm not all that big on her other books, except for 'Pride and Prejudice'. It's not that they are poorly written or that the stories are bad. It's just that the characters are untrustworthy I mean they don't feel real. They are so sweet and nice all the time that they seem fake and phony. And I don't think it has anything to do with the time the books are written in, because as I see it everyone has something bad in them no matter how they are raised or in what time period they live in. But that's where 'Mansfield Park' is different I think. Fanny is sweet and gentle and caring but there is still something real about her, something that is easy to relate to. Though I still feel that 'Pride and Prejudice' is the best, because of Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy. They are probably my favourite couple of all time._

_Now, look at me rambling on. Talking about books and confirming just how sappy I really am. And also confirming how crazy I am about books. You probably already knew about the books but you can't have known that it was this bad. Well, now you do and I don't really regret it. I think you should get to really know me, since I now know so much more about you because of your lovely mother. It's only fair that I give something back. Perhaps that should be the purpose of my future letters. _

_Now I'm going to have to call it a day and go to sleep. I lay down next to you, my hand just a couple of inches away from yours, and I pray that perhaps tonight will be the night that you wake up. Oh Merlin, I pray!_

_Yours sincerely_

_Hermione_

_**I love your reviews so keep them coming!**_


	12. Twelfth Letter

**Twelfth Letter**

_June 20__th__ 1998, Grimmauld Place_

_Dear Draco,_

_I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to finally write this letter. I should have written you earlier but I've just been so busy._

_Harry and I decided to work on his house. Sure, there have been a lot of improvements on it, but those were made to make it work as the Headquarter for the Order. Now we both have to live in it and it's still not fit for living. So we started in the entrance hall and worked our way through the house. It's so big that I have my own floor and Harry has his. We share a kitchen which we have decorated Scandinavian style. The curtains are blue and white patterned, the walls are painted white but all the furniture is dark wood. We even have a bench with our rustic table. We have started spending a lot of time after the kitchen was remodelled, since it's just so charming and cosy. Even Teddy seems to love it._

_Well, Harry decorated his floor with all the new technology available. Not that he needs any of it, since he's a wizard and all, but both he and I were brought up as Muggles and therefore there just are some things we can't do without. The TV for example. Your probably don't even know what a TV is. It's most likely the hardest Muggle thing to explain. Hmm, where to begin? Well, imagine that you can save a situation and then watch it over and over again. it's more complicated than that is just Muggle technology. So just imagine that something happens in real life and someone saves it for everyone to see. Normally we watch movies on TV, you have probably been to a play one time or another and a movie is just a play on TV. I hope this makes some sort of sense to you. No matter what I would love it if we could watch a movie together. You get to pick it._

_My floor is the total opposite of Harry's. I don't think my rooms could be more old-fashion and romantic. I have four rooms: a bedroom, a library/office, a living room and a bathroom. All the rooms are painted white with hardwood floors, and the furniture are mainly made of cherry wood and green or yellow fabrics. I can't really describe it, you have to see. If you want to, of course._

_Besides decorating and renovating I've also been busy with working on the antidote. We have come miles since I last wrote to you. We've come so far that I've been working with the healers almost fulltime. We just tested our newest antidote today, and the respond we got was amazing. You were so close to being conscious. You sat up in the bed but then fell backwards again. The healers are all very optimistic and many of them are talking about the possibility of you waking up before the end of this month. I have all my fingers crossed. And so does your mother._

_We've been spending a lot of time together lately and we've really gotten to know each other. She also gets along nicely with Harry, but I really didn't think there would be a problem there since Narcissa saved Harry's life and Harry saved yours. They owe each other. But the one person your mother really loves is Teddy. She simply can't get enough of that little boy. She dotes on him every time she visits us. Last time she brought him one of your old toys, an extremely cute teddy (!) bear that can speak. I wanted to introduce your mother to Mrs. Weasley but she didn't think it would be a good idea. So they still haven't met each other. I think your mother was right, since Molly doesn't even know about my feelings for you. Well, at least I haven't told her about them and I don't think that Ron or Ginny would do that to me. God, she would be so shocked if I told her. But she is still a reasonable woman who just wants what's best for me. She wants to see me happy._

_So as you can imagine, there hasn't been a lot of time for letter writing in between renovating, antidote-making, being with your mother and sitting by your bed for countless hours each day. I have been so crazed that I haven't even had time to miss my parents. They sent me another letter saying that there wasn't really any change since the last time and that the house was still for sale without any real buyers. I just really hope that they'll be home soon. Like I hope that the healers are right that you will wake up before the end of this month._

_The prospect of you waking up soon has made me think a lot about the future. I have absolutely no idea how I should act around you when you come around. I don't know if I should keep visiting you like I do now, or if I should just stay away. Perhaps the latter is the best then you can decide if you want to see me. It's really hard for me to think about this. It's very likely that I'll be there when you wake up and that's another thing that worries me. When you wake up I'll most likely want to hug you or maybe even kiss you. But since you won't have any idea about my feelings before you read these letters I can't very well do that. For all I know you'll still hate me and possibly even be repulsed by me. Merlin, I can't stand to think of this! It makes me so depressed and confused that I don't know what to do with myself. Usually I always have a solution to my problems but this one I simply can't solve! I'll just have to wait and see what happens when you wake up. _

_Draco, it's really important to me that you know that I don't expect you to just read these letters and fall madly in love with me. I just hope that you'll at least give me a chance without laughing at me or something like that. Well, I'll have to go now. Harry is waiting in the kitchen with a fresh pot of tea._

_Your_

_Hermione_

_**Oh, all my friends, please review! **__**It makes me feel so good about this story when I get a review!**_


	13. Thirteenth Letter

**Thirteenth Letter**

_June 26__th__ 1998, Grimmauld Place_

_Draco,_

_I don't know what to do now. I'm totally panicked and confused. You woke up. We tested an antidote and you woke up. You opened your beautiful eyes and looked straight at me. First you looked as confused as I feel now. Then you snarled at me. The smile that had broken across my face quickly disappeared and the longing I felt to put my arms around you felt like my body was mocking me. That's why I ran. I ran straight home, send a letter to your mother and then buried myself under my sheets reduced to tears and sobs. Harry came to check on my. He hugged me and tried to cheer me up, but all my insecurities culminated with that single, little sound you made. Your mother is probably with you right now. She is probably telling all about what she has done for the last month and a half. At one point or another, my name is going to come up. And then she'll have to tell you about the letters. And then you'll read them. And then I'm at a loss to figure out what's going to happen next. I don't know anything right now and it frustrates me. I can't write anymore._

_Goodbye_

_Hermione_

_**Okay, so does everybody hate me now? I'm imagining that this wasn't what you were expecting. Please review.**_

_**The next part of this story will most likely be told by Draco. That just makes sense to me.**_


	14. Letter Number 1

**Letter N****umber 1**

_June 30__th__ 1998, Malfoy Manor_

_Hermione,_

_My mother asked me to write you this letter. She said it was the right thing to do. Of course she is right. I know that. But I haven't exactly been known to do the right thing, which you very well know. It has only happened three times; when I didn't kill Dumbledore, when I didn't rat on you and your little friends here at the manor and lastly when I saved your lives. You owe me Granger. You owe me big time._

_Now that that's said I really don't know what else I can say. What else I want to say. Um, thank you for your letters. My mom gave them to me and told me to read them. I appreciate the time and effort you put in to them. I was glad to know what happened to me and how I was cured._

_As for your alleged feelings for me. Granger, really, I think I have to side with Potter (never thought I would say that) you really are naïve. You think I've changed because of three little things I've done right in my life. That isn't a change, Granger. They were accidents. Momentarily weaknesses. Nothing more. Here're my thoughts: you have some silly, romantic idea that somehow the bad you know I am was just a cover and that you can get me to shed that cover. But really Granger, knock the ideas out of your pretty, little head. It's not that simple._

_But perhaps you were right. I could see us being friends, if Potter hadn't been so pigheaded. I refuse to believe that my father is the problem. No matter what my mother has told you of my relationship with him she doesn't know anything. And that's all I have to say about that matter._

_Granger really, we aren't friends and we never have been. Not even close to friends. I appreciate everything you have done for me over the last month and a half, but I don't think we'll ever be friends. Not even with my mother telling me how wonderful you are. To me you are still annoying know it all Granger, and there's simply too much bad blood between us to conquer that. So do yourself a favour and forget about those silly little girl feelings you think you have for me and get together with Weasley. I have a feeling that that's what he really wants. I have a feeling that you are meant to have little redheaded children with that snotty boy. So forget what you think you know about me and stick to your own sort of people. I can't ever be one of them. Even if I wanted to it's simply not possible. The history is between us and history can't be erased. _

_There really is no need for me to continue this letter after telling you that. But I still feel that I owe you something somehow. After all you did help with the antidote and all. There is actually something you would like to know. Not that I care about what you would like or not, but still. When I was in that coma I wasn't totally shut off from the world around me. I had little glimpses of what was happening and I could always feel when someone touched me somewhere. Sometimes I could even hear talking. What I really want to say is that I'm grateful for all the time you spend by my side while I was gone. Even though I don't really like you that much it was nice not being alone. It was nice to have someone there with me. It was even nice to see you when I woke up. I wanted to tell you that when I saw you then, but you ran before I could say anything. That sound you said I made. That wasn't a snarl. It was me trying to speak, trying to thank you. But I hadn't spoken for more than a month and no words came to me only sounds. So that's what you heard. I guess I'll just have to thank you with this letter. Thank you._

_Wow that was the first time I've ever thanked you for anything. Don't expect it to happen again anytime soon._

_Well, as I said: forget me and go with Weasley. Be happy. You deserve that much._

_Draco_

_**Okay, slaughter me**__** if you must. But it isn't over yet! Review everyone!**_


	15. Letter Number 2

**Letter Number 2**

_July 2__nd__ 1998, Malfoy Manor_

_Hermione,_

_Okay, normally I wouldn't admit to something like this, but I've been feeling guilty about the letter I sent you. It's really unlike me to admit something like that, but my mother has been driving me crazy lately. She talks about you none stop, and that made me realise just how nice you've been to me even though I haven't done anything to deserve it. And with that said let's move on to other things._

_Right, well, there really isn't anything important to tell. There really wasn't a reason for this letter besides the fact that I felt guilty about the former one. You know, the one where I called you naïve and told you how to feel. Yeah, my mother told me about your reaction to that letter. By the way, I can't believe that you told her! You were supposed to forget about me! And talking to my mother is not the right way to do it. Now she keeps on talking about you, how horrible I was and how I made you cry and now I can't forget about you. It's a mean cycle, that's what it is! Never before have I felt guilty about something I've done. I've always been content with myself and my place in life. But reading your letters, feeling your presence during my come and hearing my mother talk constantly about you has changed that. And I don't like that change! Guilt isn't funny at all._

_You see, the truth is, that the Draco you think I am is the Draco I want to be. Even if that means guilt trips once in a while. I'll just have to try and keep those on a minimum. I just want to belong somewhere and be loved, not for my family values or my last name but for who I really am. Not that I really have an idea who that is, but the Draco you described in your letters sounds much more likeable than how I feel._

_Now that that's said, I want to make it absolutely clear that I don't regret you I have been. It was fun and all it just doesn't cut it in the real world. It's time that I put the mean Draco Malfoy behind me and reinvent myself. I fear that it's much harder than it sounds. My mother has faith in me, of course she does. My father thinks me weak. I don't plan on changing everything I am. _

_I don't want to lose myself. Merlin, I should quit talking about this, it makes me seem like some wuss and that's definitely not who I am._

_Okay, forgetting all about what I just wrote. You really didn't need to know all of that. It's just so easy to open up to someone through a letter, even though I've never really worded that to anyone before, besides my parents. And it just feels like I know you. Merlin, I'm so confused. I feel like I know you, but still I don't know _you_ at all. Through your letters I've gotten to know a more sympathetic and loving person than I thought I knew, but still I don't know if I like you or not. There is still some of the old resentment underneath all the new feelings._

_My mother keeps telling me to give you a chance. She thinks we would be good together. Actually, she thinks you would be good for me. Apparently my moral needs to be altered and you are just the right person to do that. Pwf. Yeah, perhaps my moral has its flaws but I don't need anyone to help me fix it. No thank you I'm strong enough to do it on my own._

_Which is also why I'm leaving the Manor. As soon as I'm physically strong enough to live on my own I will. I don't need my mother's constant fuss or my father's constant blame. I'm better off on my own. If I could I'd leave right away, but my legs and arms aren't strong enough yet._

_Merlin, I don't need to tell you all of these things, but then again it is just so easy to do it. I mean, you did it to me. Ha, and look where that got me! Confused and irritated. I really want to hate you, Granger, don't get me wrong. But after reading those letters I don't think I can. But I'll say it again this doesn't mean that I actually like you. There is no need for me to write you these things. There is no need to tell you about my childhood or my present or what I want for the future. But I've been without someone to confide in for so long. I never thought that the person I wanted to confide in would be you Granger. But Merlin, there's so much I want to tell you and yet I'm afraid to do so. I'm afraid that suddenly I'll like you against my better judgement. I'm afraid of how you'll handle the things I have to tell you. And then again I shouldn't worry about you, I never have before. Merlin's grey beard Granger, you have seriously messed with my head!_

_Normally right and wrong wouldn't bother me. I'd just do what I wanted. But now it's like your letters have given me a conscience. I'm still deciding if I should thank you for that you be mad at you. _

_I must stop talking now, this is so unlike me. Rambling on without anything real to say. Normally I would keep my mouth shut and wait for the opportune moment to spit an insult at someone. But I haven't wanted to do that since I woke up. Not really, anyway. Not like I used to. Granger, you messed me up for good! With you stupid letters and your warms hands on mine. And I now think that it's appropriate to thank you. You've given me a blank page and a new starting point. Thank you. _

_You make me say 'thank you' too much. I don't like it._

_Somehow I think that I will keep writing you. I don't care if you answer any of my letters. I don't expect you to anyway. I am usually very forward about the things I want to say, and some of the things I'm thinking might shock you. Don't answer my letters if you don't want to. If you do, however, I can't guarantee that I'll read them. That's just a bit too personal for me. I don't expect to become you favourite pen friend, Granger, that's not my intention at all. I just need someone to ramble to. And I don't do diaries. I'd rather pretend that I'm talking to a real person. It doesn't seem that sappy._

_So just as I was your confident you shall be mine._

_Draco_

_**What do you think? Please review.**_


	16. Letter Number 3

**Letter Number 3**

_July 5__th__ 1998, Malfoy Manor_

_Hermione,_

_I've just come back from the Hospital and I'm both beat and grumpy. So this won't be the happiest letter ever written. Not that a letter like that could ever come from me, but that's not the point. The point really is that this letter will be blunt and right to the point, because that's just the way I do things and I'm not in the mood to soften anything right now._

_I'm guessing that you already know that I have to go to back to St. Mungo's once in a while to get a little more of the antidote and to get a spell cast on my weak muscles. They have forbidden me to fly my broom and play Quidditch until I'm done with their treatment. And that really sucks. I miss feeling the wind in my hair and on my face; I miss the excitement and the thrill of the game. But I'm far from stupid, no matter what you may think of me Granger, and I'm going to take the healers advice. The only problem is that the treatment drains me. I'm tired and I feel weak. I hate feeling weak and I've already been sleeping too much lately, but you know that already._

_Okay, then what else can I write about? I really need to keep writing else I fear I might fall asleep and, believe it or not, it's more fun writing you than it is sleeping._

_By the way, when are you going to stop seeing my mom? I mean, I'm out of the coma I'm going to be fine so you don't really have anything in common anymore. She is really giving me grief about you all the time, and I don't like the fact that my mother is taking some girl's side over her own son's. That's just not right, you know. She should support my decision and let you alone. But no no, my mom doesn't do that. She keeps seeing you and then she talks about you when she comes home and if that wasn't enough she even bugs me about how stupid I am for letting you go. Yeah, my mother is a hoot._

_Just yesterday after she had come home from coffee with you she came into my room, sat on my bed and simply started talking about you. She told me about your job-offer. Why you didn't take it is beyond me. I mean you were asked to start Auror-training but instead you choose to go back to school? That's just backwards. And then she started talking about your house and how you even had room enough for another person. She even had the nerve to suggest that since I wanted to move out I could ask for a spare room at your place. But I simply won't do that. First of all I'd be living with Potty and a screaming baby. Besides the entire point of me moving out was to live alone and hold my own. You know depend on no one else but myself._

_About school then you probably already know that my mother is forcing me to return and finish my seventh year. So it looks like you'll have someone there who knows you just like you asked for. I just can't guarantee the other things you wanted, like us being friends. You must admit that the thought of that is totally up-side-down. Just imagine what people would say if they saw us together. And not just that, what if they saw us passing each other without one cruel, mean word and perhaps even smiling at each other. They would totally freak out and Hogwarts wouldn't be the same at all. People rely on our quarrels and without that they'd be confused. Our fighting would be the only normal thing in a totally changed world. Okay that was very over the top and totally unrealistic but still you get the idea._

_But anyway, we'll be back in school together. It's just very annoying that I can't do what I really want to. Okay, don't laugh when I tell you this, but what I really want to do is be an Auror. That's why I simply don't get it that you could just pass up the opportunity. You wrote me that I'm considered a hero. I don't believe that. If that was true, then why have both you, Potty and Weasel gotten a letter from the Auror-department when I haven't? It doesn't even matter now. I have to go to school and forget about being an Auror. Just as you have to forget that I ever told you this._

_I really don't know how you could do it. I mean write all those personal things in your letter to me, a guy you don't even know and have a way too unrealistic view of. Just writing to tell you what my hopes for the future are is hard enough for me I can't imagine how you got the courage to tell me all the other things. Or perhaps I have you all wrong. Perhaps that wasn't courage at all. You said it yourself you were afraid that I wouldn't wake up. So you might have figured that I wouldn't ever read those letters. Hmm, no that's not really your style. Knowing you Granger (even if I really don't) you probably just have the courage and the confidence to be open and honest about yourself._

_It's not I'm not confident, not at all in fact. I'm just so worried about being perceived the wrong way. I'm afraid of what people would think of me if they knew certain things. This is probably where I should show courage and tell you one of those things, right? Merlin, life just isn't easy by birth, huh? Okay, remember what you said about my relationship with my father? Well, you were right about that. We were never close. He might love, like you have pointed out yourself, but he's never shown it or told me. Not even after I've awoken. He's still like a stranger to me that I'm ultimately quite scared of._

_Okay, enough with the soppy sharing. I'll finish for this time._

_Draco_

_**And… Review!!!**_


	17. Letter Number 4

**Letter Number 4**

_June 10__th__ 1998, Malfoy Manor_

_Hermione,_

_I know I know it's been awhile since I last wrote you. I'm not going to apologize for that because that's just how I am. Deal with it. _

_So my mother is speaking a little less of you now, she only mentions you every 5__th__ minute instead of every 2__nd__. That's a nice improvement. I don't think she'll totally give it up before I've spend some time with you. She thinks it's great that I'm sending you these letters; although she keeps telling me to be less harsh (yeah, like that could happen?), but she won't ease up before I've spend some 'quality time' alone with you. You know, face to face. But I don't see that happening anytime soon, so don't drop your knickers. Or perhaps I'll see you just to get her to shut up._

_Merlin, imagine how awkward it would be if we were to spend time together. You would be sitting there and believe that you have feelings for me and I would be totally embarrassed because you know so many of my dreams and secrets. You not have told anyone about the things I'm writing to you. Especially not to Weasley or Potter. They wouldn't understand, you've made that quite clear yourself. Or maybe not. I mean you said that Potter was okay with your 'feelings' even though he called you naïve (again, I second that even if I never thought I would be agreeing with Potty). Perhaps he would kind of understand. But still, this is between you and me and no one else (okay, perhaps my mother has some part in this but I'm not thrilled about that!)._

_But really, imagine sitting across from me knowing that I know all these little private things about you. Don't tell me you wouldn't feel awkward. Also since we've never really been alone together. We've never tried to be civil with each other. Don't you think it would be weird? I sure as Hell think it would._

_That's also why I don't think we'll be together when we're at Hogwarts. It would simply be too weird. Besides you have all your own friends. They would never accept me like you have. They would ridicule me and torment me until I was forced to leave you alone. And don't try to stick up for them, saying that they could never do a thing like that. I know them, even though I know a side of them that you rarely see. The anger and resentment goes both ways Granger and you know it. With your brain how could you not? They like me just as little as I like them and that's the end of it. Perhaps you two sidekicks have been able to forget and forgive, but I don't think the same would go for the others. You are like the mascot of the Gryffindors and I'm the mascot of the Slytherins. As a rule we aren't supposed to interact – on any level. _

_You know, the real reason why I wanted to write you was to tell you about something that happened to me. I was walking home from St. Mungo's with my mother when a little girl suddenly came up to me. She must have been about 8 years old not much older anyway. Well, she came up to me on the street and stopped me. She didn't say anything she looked at me and smiled. You know me, I couldn't put up with that forever and I fear that I might have gotten a bit rude when I told her to spill her guts. And of course that was going to come back to haunt me since the girl, when she first started talking, wouldn't shut up again. She went on and on about how I had saved her hero, The-Boy-That-Still-Comes-Back-To-Bite-Me-In-The-Arse, and how grateful she was. At one point she even called me a hero. So I guess I owe you yet another apology, Granger. You were right, I am considered somewhat of a hero. I'm sorry (you know you're really throwing my total all out of place. I used to give one apology a year and then you came along)._

_It's not like I want to be a hero or anything, but when you for once do a right thing, you want to be acknowledged for it. So the girl might have annoyed the living crap out of me (she actually reminded me about you a little) but it was nice to hear when she called me a hero. You should have seen my mother. She got tears in her eyes and I swear if that little girl's mother hadn't taken her away and scolded her for taking my time, my mother would have hugged her and never let her go._

_It actually got me wondering why I'm an alone child. It's obvious that my mother likes children. She constantly talks about little Teddy when she comes home from visiting you (of course this is in between talking about you and calling me stupid). But the answer is actually quite simple. My mother might love children but my father does not. Whenever mother starts talking about Teddy when my father is in the room he gets up and leaves. It doesn't really matter though. I'm not big on children either. Especially babies. And preteens. And teens. You know, I don't like children at all. they are noisy, nosy and clingy, three things I hate. And besides that they are messy and attention-needy. I don't know how you can stand living with a baby. It would drive me crazy. Yet another reason why I can't move in at Grimmauld Place._

_Oh, about that. The healers say that in about a week I'll no longer need to come back to the Hospital and get more of the antidote. Then I'll be ready to take care of myself. So now I'm apartment-hunting. And don't ask me how it's going because it's not. There is absolutely nothing in London City. And I'll be damned if I have to live anywhere else. I found a little place in Godric's Hollow, but that really isn't a place where I wanna live. Too much Gryffindor spirit with Godric, Dumbledore and Potters. It wouldn't feel right for me to live there. So I choose London. Besides that's where everything happens. And no, it doesn't have anything to do with you. I don't care that you live in London. _

_Well, there really isn't anything else to say for today. I don't know when you can expect my next letter, but remember to breathe while you're waiting._

_Draco_

_**So… tell me what you're thinking. **__**I crave all your wonderful thoughts!**_


	18. Letter Number 5

**Letter Number 5**

_July 12__th__ 1998, Malfoy Manor_

_Hermione,_

_This really isn't a letter in the true sense of the word. Actually it's an invitation. An invitation that I don't want to give but have been forced to by my mother. You might have heard from her that she is planning to throw me a birthday party that is also a party celebrating that I've awoken. I don't really see the purpose of it, I mean who would come? I'm not exactly well-liked hero or not. But anyway as I said my mother has forced me to invite you to this party. She requests that you wear a cocktail dress, for some reason I don't think I want to know. But you are hereby invited. It's July 24__th__ and it starts at eight o'clock. I really hope that you decide not to come._

_I'm not saying that to be rude or anything (for once in my life that's true). But remember what I wrote you in my last letter? If you come to this party I can guarantee that my mother will find some way for us to be alone together and then the awkwardness will be everywhere. Really, imagine what you would say to me, if we were alone. I can't because there is absolutely nothing you can tell me about you that I haven't already read in your letters. And worst of all you think you have feelings for me and I've told you loud and clear that I don't return those feelings. What could we possibly have to talk about? Would you try and make my change my mind about you? That would be hard to do, you know. _

_So, please don't accept this invitation. Just stay at home and have fun with your best friend and his baby._

_Oh, about homes. I finally found and apartment. It's a two-bedroom in the centre of London, magically hidden of course. But get this it's in the building across from Grimmauld Place. So I will probably have to keep looking for a place. I mean, I can't live across from you and Potty. That would be just as weird as you coming to my party._

_My mother doesn't want me to move, of course she doesn't. After almost ignoring me for 17 years now she decides to be a real mom. But I simply can't stay in this house just because of her. I need to get out and be on my own. I need to find a place to live before I go back to school, so I don't need to go home here during the holidays. I probably have to get that place even though you live on the other side. It's the only descent thing I've found. I guess I could live with having you around. As long as that baby isn't a screamer. I need my sleep at night._

_Then perhaps you should come to the party after all. Yeah, that would be a good idea. That way we could test if we could we around each other and I could get my mother of my back. Okay, I've changed my mind. Accept the invitation, come to the party, sit alone with me for an hour or so and then I'll move out. It's the perfect plan. I just hope that the awkward silence won't be too awkward. But I can handle it if you can._

_But then again what could we possibly talk about? We don't have anything in common! You're the ultimate goodie-goodie and I'm definitely nothing like that. Ha, perhaps you could give me all the dirt on Potty and Weasel! No, you would never do that. Hmm, then what is there for us to talk about? I have a feeling that Quidditch isn't one of the things that you like. I don't hate books, but they aren't my soul interest. Look, this is silly. How could you ever think that you have feelings for me? You only have feelings for the person you think I am. You are in love with a mirage!_

_I'm still not trying to be rude but it's the truth. You don't know me, Granger, and if you ever get to really know me you won't like me one bit. But I'm prepared to let you see the real me so you can, for once and for all, knock those silly ideas out of your head. It would be better that way._

_Oh, I just remembered! This might not interest you at all, but I'll tell you anyway. The healers have finally agreed to let me play Quidditch again. I've really missed that. But the first time I went back on the broom I quickly realised that my muscles weren't as strong as they used to. I had trouble staying on the broom and I couldn't catch any of the magical balls I had flying around. You have no idea how frustrating that was. I have to practise every day from now on to get back in shape. I never thought that being in a coma for a month and a half would leave your muscles so weak. Of course you know there isn't anything you _don't_ know is there?_

_That was actually the reason why I hated you so much in school. You always had the right answer. And it wasn't because it annoyed me. The real thing that annoyed me was that you were smarter than me. Every time you had the right answer to something I couldn't answer I hated you a little bit more. I know, it was stupid and childish but I have always been incredibly arrogant (that's right I'm not afraid to admit that). It simply killed me that you, a Muggleborn, were smarter than me. You knew more about what I thought was _my world_ than I did. And that struck my pride more than you could ever know. I can't tell you that I still don't feel that hurt a little, but now it's not so much because you are Muggleborn (believe it or not that doesn't bother me at all anymore) now it's just general competition. _

_I know I know, I just admitted that I don't have hard feelings against Muggleborns anymore. You didn't think that was ever going to happen did you? But it's the truth. I have come to realise that during the Muggleborns proved their worth. I'm still not big on Muggles in general, but I don't mind Muggleborn Wizards and Witches. _

_Okay, this letter got a lot longer that it was supposed to be. I was actually just writing to invite you to the party, and even though I started off by saying that you shouldn't come I've changed my mind about that. So please come (and that's the only honest _please_ you are ever going to get from me)._

_Draco_

_**And then you click the green button… Go on it won't hurt you… You don't have to be afraid. **__**Now when you've clicked it you write all you thoughts about this chapter. And then I'll be very grateful!**_


	19. Letter Number 6

**Letter Number 6**

_July 18__th__ 1998, Malfoy Manor_

_Hermione,_

_So you accepted the invitation. My mother was just here in my room. She was very polite when she knocked my door and stepped inside with the biggest smile I've seen on her face in ages. She didn't have to say anything I already knew what she was going to tell me. And sure enough the first word out of her mouth was you name, and then she told me that you had accepted the invitation. She also told me that she had asked you to show up a little earlier and help with the preparations, but that you had declined. That was a good decision, Granger. I don't know if you did it to not be with me or if the Weasleys are really visiting you but still. So, you're coming to my birthday/awakening party. It's definitely going to be interesting._

_I've rented the apartment. I'll be moving out before the party. So perhaps I'll see you on the street sometime soon. You know, I can just imagine you as the kind of neighbour that comes to greet the new residences of your street. If you're going to do that with me, be sure to bring some cookies or something. Paying the deposit for the apartment has left me a little dry, if you know what I mean. I won't really be able to afford sweet things like cake and soda for a while. Of course my father helped me pay for the apartment, but I refused to let him pay the whole thing himself. As I've told you before I'm really doing this to be independent and how independent are you if you daddy has paid for you home? Well, if you do stop by (with the cookies, please) don't expect too much hospitality. It's not like I'm going to invite you in for a cup of coffee or anything, even though I'm sure that's what you would do with your guests. But I'm not you, not even close. _

_I really need a job after the last year of school if I'm going to keep the apartment. But I have no idea what I want to work with. My father thinks me stupid for wanting to make my own money. He laughed at me when I declined the money he offered me. He doesn't get that I want to be free of him and I can't do that if I'm depended of his money. So I'll need a job. You know what I really want to do, but I still haven't received an invitation to start Auror training. So I might as well just forget about that._

_Right now I'm sitting on a box since all my stuff is packed in boxes and ready for the move. We're going to apparate them to the apartment the day after tomorrow. I've also been out buying more furniture. I can't furnish an entire apartment with just the things from my room. _

_It's really weird to thing that in a few days you are actually going to be in my house. My childhood house anyway. You are going to walk in the kitchen where I ate, walk in the living room where my picture hangs on the wall perhaps you'll even get to see my empty room. If I know my mom, and I think I do, then she'll show you my room for sure. And she'll probably make sure that I'm in the room when that happens. And then she'll be all: "Oh, honey I didn't know you were in here! Well, you can show Hermione this room better than I can. I'll just leave you alone." And then she's going to smile her most bewitching smile and leave us alone. And then awkward-world will be upon us. I'm sure of it. You just wait and see. If there is one thing my mother is good at then it's getting her way._

_Actually, and you might not believe me when I say this, I'm looking forward to the party. I'm even looking forward to seeing you. I know, I know surprise! But really, I am. I'm looking forward to thanking you in person for all the things you've done for me lately. I know I've already thanked you, but it doesn't really feel right. So I want to do it face to face. I want to thank you for helping the healers with my antidote. I want to thank you for writing those letters telling me what had happened to me and everyone else. And I want to thank you for spending all those hours next to my bed and keeping me company even though I was in a coma. I know I probably shouldn't tell you all the things I'm going to thank you for in this letter, but I haven't ever thanked anyone in person, so just in case it goes wrong I wanted you to know what I meant to say. Perhaps I should also apologize for being so harsh to you, but let's just take it one step at a time. I know I said I wanted to change, but too much change at once can totally alter a person, and that's what I'm looking for. I just want to be a better me, not a different me. Does that make any sense?_

_We'll it probably does to the wonder-witch. There isn't anything that doesn't make sense to you or that you don't understand is there? I'm pretty sure that you're the Gold in the Golden Trio. Those two morons probably couldn't have done anything without you and your brain. That's just my opinion of course, but still. I'm quite sure that I'm right. That's another thing my mother keeps saying about you. "Hermione is so smart and brilliant" she says. And then she ends it with "the two of you would be perfect together." But I'm not sure if I could go out with someone smarter than me. I don't think my ego could take it._

_Speaking of ego, I actually saw Weasel the other day when I was furniture shopping. He wasn't happy to see me at all, I tell you. His face went pale as a House Ghost and then red like his hair. I swear smoke nearly came out of his ears he was that mad. Of course I couldn't help waving mockingly at him and say "Give my love to Hermione." It was just so funny. He was holding a quill but after I said the last word he was holding two half quills. The funniest thing I've seen in a while!_

_Right, then I think there is nothing more for me to write about. I'll see you at the party. Remember what my mother said about a dress. That I'm actually also looking forward to seeing. Bushy Hermione with the ink-fingers wearing a dress. Some sight._

_Draco_

_**So, what do you think?**__** The next letter will contain the Party.**_


	20. Letter Number 7

**Letter Number 7**

_July 25__th__ 1998, My London Apartment_

_Hermione,_

_See, I told you a letter like this might be called for. I'm sorry for how I treated you at the party last night. I truly am. And that is why you bug me so, Granger! I have been known to do a lot of stupid things, insulting many people gravely and even hurt people. But never before have I felt the _**need **_to apologize for those things. Nobody has ever made me feel guilty before. And here you come waltzing by and then you mess up my entire life. It's simply not fair! I feel so bad about the things I said to you, and I feel sorry for calling you the things I did. It was totally uncalled for. But you see, this power that you somehow have over me does _**not**_ make me like you more than I already do._

_Perhaps I should be better at apologizing to you without insulting you in the same breath (or line, since this is a letter). But old habits die hard, you know. And it has become a trusted habit to make your life Hell. So you see my dilemma when that habit suddenly makes me feel bad._

_I know that you only did what you did to help me, but try and see this from my point of view (really, I'm not trying to justify how I acted towards you I just want you to try and understand _**why**___I acted like I did). I tell you the biggest secret of my life and then I ask you to keep it between the two of us. But instead you tell Potter about it and ask him to talk to his superiors and get me a job at the Auror Office. I felt betrayed, that's what I felt even when you told me you had gotten me the job. I appreciate what you did and I'm going to take the job (who am I to refuse an opportunity when it stumbles into my lap), but you still betrayed my trust in you. You went against my wishes, and that's why I got mad. Of course I was totally out of line and my fury was far too big for what you had done. Besides you did it for me. _

_And that's probably another reason why I went out of line. No one has ever before done something like that for me. Not expecting something in return from me or anything just doing it to make me happy. That was something completely new and foreign to me and I was not man enough to cope with it (I swear to Merlin and all above him that if you tell this to anyone you'll never again hear from me!). And that affection you showed for me scared the wits out of me. It showed me once and for all what I have been too stubborn and blind to realise; you really do have genuine feelings for me. That shook me to my core, it did!_

_That was when I started yelling and cursing at you. I truly regret all the things I said to you. I was totally out of line with everything I said. Your face still haunts me, I feel that guilty. I dreamed about that face last night. When you told me what you had done for me (when we were alone in my room like I told you my mother would make it happen) your chocolate eyes were glistening with pleasure and happiness and your rosy lips were spread in a wide smile that reached your eyes and made them sparkle even more. But when I started cursing the light in your eyes went out and your smile crumbled. You were so brave putting up with all the shit I said without saying anything back but when I used that one, awful world I had sworn to myself would be forever banished from my vocabulary you could no longer stand still and take it in and you ran from my room. I didn't even get a change to tell you that you looked very pretty. I went downstairs to go after you, but my mother told me that you had left with tears in your eyes. Those words sent daggers through my heart and I retreated from the party. It wasn't fun anymore since guilt was all I could feel._

_My mother has just left my apartment. She scolded me for treating you so poorly. And for once I didn't argue with her. I know I was a rat. She didn't need to tell me that. _

_After I came back to my apartment after the party I brought out your letters and reread every single one of them. With the new knowledge I suddenly had (you know the one about your feelings for me being real and not just some romantic girly illusion) and the picture I had engraved of you in my mind (you didn't see it I'm sure but when you entered the Manor I was sort of staring at you and that image of you stuck) the you from your letters suddenly became alive. Perhaps I don't hate you as much as I thought I did._

_I actually quite enjoyed our conversation before I screwed it up. I know that we weren't really talking about anything in particular but it was still surprisingly nice and not at all awkward. Well, okay it was awkward to begin with you know, after my mother had left us alone in my empty room, but once the conversation started flowing it was nice. You can easily say that I ruined that moment. How long did we talk before it went wrong; two minutes? Three? It wasn't long that's for sure._

_You know my invitation still stands. You know, for you to show your neighbourly generosity with some cookies. I'll even make coffee. But I understand if you don't want to speak to me. I just hope that you can find it in you to forgive me somehow._

_Actually I'm quite sure that you'll forgive me. You are notorious for your fairness and you don't seem like the kind of person who holds grudges. And I'm lovable no matter how obnoxious I sometimes am. Just admit it Granger, you can't stay mad at me. I'll bet that not before long you'll be standing at my front door with a basket of cookies (my favourite is chocolate chip – just so you know) waiting for me to invite you in. You'll see. You can't stay away from me and my impeccable charm._

_Draco_

_**So, I**__** know this probably wasn't what you were expecting from the party, but it's how I imagined it.**_

_**Alright, tell me your thoughts. I simply love reading reviews. It makes my day and makes me want to continue writing.**_


	21. Letter Number 8

**Letter Number 8**

_July 28__th__ 1998, London Apartment_

_Hermione,_

_Thank you for your visit yesterday. I know I sounded very cocky and confident in my former letter, but I actually didn't expect for you to show up. But I'm immensely happy that you did. And those cookies are the best I've ever had. I still have a couple more if you would like to come by for cookies and coffee. No sorry, I'm forgetting you prefer tea. Well, I have that as well. So here you have a standing invitation to come by whenever you feel like it._

_Wow, I never thought I'd say that to you of all people. I guess my mother was right about you after all – you really are worth my time. But I still have to figure out if you are worth my friendship and my affections. You know I don't just befriend every single person that knows how to challenge my intellect. I'm not you, Granger. I expect more of my friends. And I know what you are thinking. You are thinking that I'm only looking for submissive morons but that's not true. Crabbe and Goyle were never my friends (none the less I still mourn Crabbe's passing) they were just followers. To tell the truth I have never known anyone worthy of being my friend. So you see that it would be a big change if I suddenly decided that you were worthy to become my first friend ever after the many years we have spent fighting and arguing. _

_Can you imagine how people would react if they found out that you and I had actually been civil and sat in the same room for an hour without cursing once? Imagine their faces when they find out that we actually _**laughed**_. They wouldn't be able to cope with that information._

_Just like I still can't really grasp that you actually have feelings for me. And those feelings go beyond those between friends or siblings. You have romantic feelings for me even though we've only ever been civil with each other twice. I still can't believe that with all the horrible things I've said to you can still find it in your heart to love me. If that's what you are feeling for me, I mean love and not just an attraction. _

_Really I can't figure you out, Granger! You say you've had these feelings for me since our sixth year, which means for two years, but still we've been at each other's throats. And sometimes I didn't even start it! You must be a really good actress if you can be such a harpy (sorry for that) and still have feelings for me. It beats me it really does. But I guess you just haven't been ready to tell me or something. Come to think of it I wouldn't have believed you if you had told me before you did. I would more likely have laughed at you and picked on you even more than before. So I guess you knew what you were doing. Or perhaps you were just scared as Hell. It's not my place to judge no matter why you waited. You did the right thing._

_Yeah I know, I just said that you did something right, I know! But I already told you that I wish to change and I guess that accepting that others than me can be right is a step towards that. so yeah Granger, you were right to wait._

_I just came to realise, isn't it weird that I start the letter by addressing you by your front name but continue the letter using your last name? I sure think it's weird. You even used my first name in your letters. Merlin, you even use my first name when we're together! I don't think I did that. I think I still called you Granger, didn't I? Why should I refrain from using your name when you seem so comfortable with mine? So, here it goes. Hermione. Hmm, that's okay I guess. Actually I can't wait to use say it to you and see your face when I finally call you Hermione. But I'll tell you this: Potter will never be Harry and Weasel will never be Ron/Ronald (although he will occasionally be referred to as Weasley, even though there are so many Weasleys that it would be hard for you to know who I was referring to). Bloody Hell, I don't even like to _**write**_ those names, so I will never say them! With that said, I actually quite like your name._

_Okay, I just left for a few seconds to figure out where your name is from and what it means. I know I know, dorky as Hell. But I couldn't help myself. Well, your name is Greek and means to travel. But there is actually a great story behind it. Have you ever heard of Helen of Troy? Oh, who am I kidding? You're Hermione Granger! I could have said any name you would have said 'Yeah, I know that name wasn't he/she…?' So of course you have heard of Helen of Troy the most beautiful woman in the world. Well, she was married to kin Menelaus and they had a baby girl named Hermione. It really is a beautiful name. You have probably already guessed the meaning of my name; it's not the hardest thing in the world to guess. It's Greek and Latin and means dragon and serpent. Great, it's like I was destined right from birth to be a bastard. Well, I certainly have lived up to my name both first and last._

_Anyway, my door is open for you should you wish to visit me. Perhaps your door will even be open for me, so I can see how you live. You told me in one of your letters that you wanted me to see your place, and I actually want to see it. I guess that perhaps the door to my heart is also slightly open, not full-blown open, but I'm sensing that perhaps that'll happen someday. Just be patient with me. I'm not used to trusting people let alone let them in my heart. But because of your sincerity and good will towards me I'll try and make room for you._

_So, I guess I'll see you soon. And then you'll hear me say your name and I'll hear you say mine._

_Draco_

_**I'm hoping that this **__**was satisfactory for everyone. I tried to make Draco a little softer but still like him, please tell me if I succeeded or failed miserably.**_

_**Please review!**_


	22. Letter Number 9

**Letter Number 9**

_August 1__st__ 1998, London Apartment_

_Hermione,_

_Thank you so much for your visit yesterday. You sure did help me eat the last of those cookies, but I never doubted that. Though your body might not show it I know you to be a notorious sweet tooth. My mother tells a lot of secrets about you. So also told me about your weird habit of eating a piece of 'victory-chocolate' after finishing a book. Okay, what's that about?! You actually need an excuse to eat chocolate? And then you choose to do it every time you finish a book, which happens every other day. So my point is proven, you really are a relentless sweet tooth. But I like that. Personally I prefer cookies, but you already knew that. Well, since I no longer have any cookies of my own, I think it's only fair that you either make me some more or invite me to your place for some freshly made ones. _

_I'm still__ waiting for that invitation you know. I expected you to invite me when you were here yesterday, but you didn't. Instead you just ate three of my five cookies, drank your milk and made conversation like nothing was missing. You stayed for an hour, got up, put on your shoes, shook my hand and left with a smile. Merlin, that smile bugged me! It felt like it was screaming at me, 'I've got something you want and you're not getting it!' Really Hermione, I didn't expect you to be a tease. I just figured you modest and shy. Which you also are. A very strange combination. _

_I don't think I'll ever forget the way you smiled at me when I first time said your name out loud to your face. I've never before seen anyone blush so hard. It was quite adorable actually. Pink is a good colour on you. Bloody Hell, I'm starting to sound like a woman! See, this is why I never wanted a female friend. They are a bad influence. Soon enough you'll be lending me your conditioner and telling me that I should start using moisturizer and night cream. Well, that's not going to happen. Ever!_

_Moving away from that topic and on to another, I fully expect an invitation to visit you after this letter. If I don't get it I'll invite myself. Just please don't force me to contact Potter and ask him for an invitation. Really, I don't even think he'd oblige. I mean, sure, he's your friend. But I made it pretty clear how I feel about him and I'm 100% sure that he feels the same way. Even if I did swallow my pride (if that was ever going to happen I would have a sore throat for weeks) and ask for the invitation he'd only laugh at me. Or even worse make me grovel and beg. Oh Merlin, that would be a sight for sore eyes. He'd probably invite Weasel to watch too._

_Wait a minute, this is exactly what you were aiming for, wasn't it? I mean, not the whole begging Potter thing (but if that was what you were hoping for you'll surely be very disappointed) but you wanted me to at least beg you. Gosh, woman! You are one schemy witch! Well, mission accomplished. I'm officially asking for an invitation to your home._

_When I come to visit (there is no _**if**_ here since I know you can't resist my humble plea, I know, I'm too darn charming) I hope that Potter isn't going to disturb us. Or that baby you're living with. Really, I don't see how you can do it. Living with a baby _**and**_ Potter. Don't you have your hands full all the time with two children in the house? Okay, perhaps that was a little mean, but funny as Hell either way and I'm not going to apologize. That still isn't my thing. And I don't expect it to become my thing anytime soon. You still remain the only person who has received a verbal apology from Draco Malfoy. _

_And come on, what is up with that?! Who would have thought that I, Draco Malfoy snake prince of Slytherin, would ever apologize to Hermione Granger, geeky Gryffindor nerd (no offense, but that really is who you are). I tell you (for, I don't know, the seventeenth time) people wouldn't ever believe how civil we are with each other. They wouldn't believe your feelings for me or all the things you've done for me. And they certainly wouldn't believe how nice I've been to you (I admit, I'm still no angel but I don't see myself becoming that ever)._

_Hey, Hermione, notice the date. Today is exactly one month till Hogwarts. I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I'm quite looking forward to it. Of course it's going to be strange without Crabbe there. And I might not have any 'friends' in Slytherin or anywhere else. I mean, most of those Slytherin children have parents that are either in Azkaban or dead. They are probably going to see me as a traitor and they'll find my family weak for changing sides to escape Azkaban. And believe me they won't love me for saving Potter's life and yours as well. I might be a hero to everyone else, but to the Slytherins I'll be the worst traitor to ever walk those halls. Is it okay to say, that I'm actually glad I'll have you? Or is it too weird? What am I saying; of course you won't find that weird. You're probably giddy with glee right now, jumping up and don't as you keep on rereading those simple words. See, I already know you quite well, Hermione. Well, perhaps if your Gryffindor friends (and that Loony Lovegood from Ravenclaw; if she's that weird then why is she in Ravenclaw?) can tolerate me I can join you in your compartment during the train ride? Well, it was just a thought._

_That reminds me, how are your parents? I meant to ask you when you were here yesterday, but I was just so focused on you not inviting me and you eating my cookies (granted, you made them but then you gave them to me, and even though I invited you over to help me finish them I didn't expect you to eat almost all of them) that I never got around to asking you. Are they coming home soon? I don't really know why I even care. Perhaps it's only because you care. Merlin, it suddenly sounds like you're my best friend in the entire world. Ooh, I care about the things you care about only because you care! Phah, that's not true! Like, I don't care one bit for babies and you won't be able to change that ever! Believe me! That's an incarnated dislike I've always had. And don't try to be miss smarty-pants and tell me that I also had an incarnated dislike for Muggleborns and _**that**_ changed, because that is really not true. I'm still not big on Muggleborns. I only changed my mind about you. And a little about Muggleborns in general, but that was just because of you. Oh crap, here I go again! _

_You know what, I better stop this letter before I write something really stupid that'll come back to haunt me forever and ever. I'll be waiting for that invitation of yours and if I don't have it within three days you'll find me standing on your doorstep with a really angry face, and when you then invite me in I'm going to refuse. Yes, I will! And now you might call me childish, but that's just how I do things. It's my way or not at all. But I think you already knew that._

_Draco_

_**Okay, I hope this was to your liking. I really enjoyed writing this, for some reason that is totally unknown to me. **_

_**Oh, and thank you to all my reviewers, you are so great with your constructive criticism. It's really appreciated. And a special shout-out to jenniluz (I hope it's alright that I mention you) you've been a really great help and faithful reviewer along with broadwayb (hope you don't mind the mention) who's every bit as important for my writing as my computer (okay, maybe not but I really appreciate all the great reviews).**_

_**And with that said I can only hope for even more reviews that can help me make this story even better (Did that sound too cocky?) **_


	23. Fourteenth Letter

**Fourteenth Letter**

_Dear Draco,_

_So you really want an invitation to my home? You know, you really are childish and stubborn, but all the same you are hereby invited. Though I don't really see why you didn't just drop by. I mean, I already invited you in one of my first letters. Guess you've forgotten about that. _

_Oh, and sorry to burst your bubble, but both Harry and Teddy will be home. But they won't disturb us when we retire to my rooms. But if you want cookies you'll have to put up with them. They will both be present with us in the kitchen, I can't just throw them out they live there as well and Harry is just as bad with cookies as you are. So you'll have to be civil with them, though I don't think it'll be that big a problem when there are cookies._

_You asked about my parents in your last letter. Well, they are still stuck in Australia and it doesn't look like they'll be home any time soon. Perhaps I'll go spend some time with them before school starts again. I think they'll like that. And so would I. I know this might be a little sudden but if you feel like it you're welcome to join me. Remember the letter I sent you from Australia? I told that I wished to show you the Carlton Gardens. Well, the offer still stands. Just let me know what you think._

_And really, I don't expect you to suddenly become best friends with Harry or anything. You can still call him Potter. Merlin knows he still calls you Malfoy with all the venom he can muster. So by all means keep calling him by his last name. Anything else would be incredibly weird. I know that you still only tolerate me but at least I'm Hermione to you now. You have no idea how nice it was to finally hear you say my name. That's the reason for the blush you mentioned. And don't worry; I didn't think you sounded like a woman. You were just sincere and very sweet. But gosh, that isn't your thing is it? Either way it was really nice. _

_Of course you are welcome to sit with me when we're on our way to Hogwarts. I'm sure Ginny will be fine with it; she has after all accepted my feelings for you. And Luna'll be no problem at all. She'll probably find it very interesting and check your ears to see if your brain has been invaded by nargles that has turned you sweet. Neville, Seamus and Dean might be a little hesitant. They never have liked you, but I'm guessing that the feeling is mutual. So you'll just have to be civil. You can just sit between the window and me with Ginny on the other side. Then they don't have to worry about you. But to sum it up, you are welcome to join us._

_And by the way, I never meant for you to grovel or beg me for an invitation. That's really more your style so it's no wonder you came up with that silly idea. I simply thought that you remembered that I already had given you an invitation. I guess you didn't._

_I can't tell you how happy I am that you finally seem to be given up on your old prejudices against Muggleborns. Even if it is mostly because of me. That's quite flattering you know. Have you noticed that you keep on saying that you don't really like my but still you respect me, you care about my parents solely because I do and you're begging for an invitation to my home? It sounds like you do like me a little. Well, you know how I feel about you. As I wrote in my very first letter I think, I never expected for you to wake up and suddenly just love me back. I know that that's not how things work. But I can feel you warming up to me. And you might deny that but I have it on writing. I might not be your favourite person but you certainly do not hate me, and that's a start. You see, I'm also quite stubborn and persistent. I won't force myself on you, don't worry about that. But I won't give up either. Because even when it took you a month to figure out that my feelings for you were genuine I already knew that. And genuine feelings don't just go away. And they don't just blossom. So I'm willing to be patient so you can figure out how you really feel about me. I usually get what I want as well Draco Malfoy. I'm just a little more grown up about it than you are._

_Enough with all the truth declarations, they won't get us anywhere new. You know about my feelings and I know about yours end of story._

_Isn't it strange that even though we see each other now we still continue with the letters? Somehow it's become our thing. Perhaps it's easier to be honest when you are writing a letter. You know, you don't have to look someone in the eye and tell them how you feel. You can just picture them and pour your heart out to them. You don't have to worry about their reaction, if they are going to cry or laugh at you. And once it's on paper and the letter is sent you feel so much better for finally having said whatever you meant to say. I guess my point is that I don't want us to continue writing these letters. But still I want us to be able to really talk when we're together. Of course I don't expect miracles – I am well aware that you're not capable of miracles no matter what you yourself believe – but can we just try to be honest and open with each other? No more secrets and no more lies, Draco. I hope I can count on you for that. Then perhaps we can begin having a real friendship. I would like to be your first friend, Draco Malfoy. If you'll have me._

_Yours sincerely_

_Hermione_

_**Okay, now **__**I've figured out why I enjoyed writing the last chapter so much. It's because Draco is simply just funny! He is so mean and sarcastic that I love writing his chapters. And – no offense Hermione – but he makes Hermione slightly dull and boring.**_

_**Well, please review you pants off. Oh no, please keep them on! But review either way.**_


	24. Letter Number 10

**Letter Number 10**

_August 4__th__ 1998, London Apartment_

_Hermione,_

_First of all I would like to thank you for yesterday, I had a great time. Even though the boy cried a few times he was not all bad (I know, I know). And even though it hurts my heart – and my poor ego – I have to admit that Potter was that bad either. I'm not saying that he's my new best friend or anything, I'm not even saying that we are friends at all or that I like him, but I think I can stand being around him, and the baby as well. And that's a really good thing since it means that I can come visit you more often._

_Someone really should whack me over the head; I actually like you Granger… Hermione. You remember the last thing you wrote in your last letter? About how you wanted to be my first real friend? I think I'm willing to take you up on that offer. Surprisingly enough we really connect and we have fun together. You truly are the last person I had imagined as my first friend, but still I have to admit that I don't think I could have found a better person. _

_And this is then where a normal, nice person would have said something about your home, how nice it is and how much I love it. But I'm not nice, Hermione. No matter what you think I am nice isn't it. Besides my nice-quota is all spent from tolerating Potter and the child. So you won't get many pleasantries from me. I hope you don't expect any, that way you won't get disappointed. It's strange really, how little I want to disappoint you. Sure there aren't really any people you deliberately want to disappoint but still. Normally it wouldn't hurt me one bit to disappoint you. On the contrary I might just have enjoyed it. But I've said it before and I don't mind saying it again; you have twisted my head! You've made me loopy! _

_My mum says so too. She came by yesterday just after I had come home from your place. She knocked kindly on my door and when I answered it she didn't come in she just stood there in the doorway and studied my face. Then she smiled widely at me and clapped her hands together as she entered my apartment. She didn't greet me or anything she just said, "You've been visiting Hermione, haven't you?" What was I to say to that? So I just nodded and asked her how she could tell. She told me it was because I had looked happier than she could remember me being for a long time. And then she said it, "She's driven you loopy." Then she smiled and cupped my cheek with her hand and continued, "I'm glad you're finally letting loose and have found someone to be yourself with." She stayed a little after that and we chatted. Every once in a while she would stop talking and just look at me and then make some little comment about you and I. I swear to you I think she thinks there's more between us than just a friendship. I say let her dream. She is a woman after all._

_Not that I have anything against women, not at all. But you tend to have some strange fantasies. Usually fantasies of love and happily ever after. I imagine that you are a bit more reasonable than that but still. There no way of denying what you are. Sure, sure, I know that you are brave and clever but can you honestly tell me that you don't just love hearing little romantic stories. That actually reminds me, wait just a moment. Yeah, I remembered correctly. I just reread one of your letters where you wrote about a book you were reading. To be more precise a Jane Austen book. So that proves my point._

_Oh, by the by, I just saw your last letter. You wrote something to me about Muggleborns. You said that you were glad that my prejudices were fading even if it was just because of you. I'll have you know one thing, the fading of that has nothing to do with actually knowing you, Hermione. My beliefs were altered already when you were a prisoner at my father's estate. I know probably don't like to be reminded of that time, and I'm deeply sorry for what my family did to you, I really am (see once again you make me apologize – and this time for something I didn't even do). You were so very brave that day; I came to strangely admire you. Even though my aunt tortured you (and she was the best of that, believe me I know) you stood your ground. And what when I first started to change my mind about you, I know that now. I started feeling like perhaps you were more gifted and strong than I had initially given you credit for. I started to think that perhaps just because you were a Muggleborn you wouldn't be any less worthy than anyone else to practise magic. So you are the cause yes, but not in the way you are thinking._

_And I agree with you completely (strangely enough but I guess that's one of the qualities of being friends) we really should continue these letters. It is far easier to write your feelings (especially for me, I've never really known how to express feelings) than it is to tell someone just how you feel. And even though we have seen a lot of each other lately and that we are now friends I think you are right about the letters being our thing. And I would like to have a thing with you that neither Potty nor Weasel can claim they have. Huh, that's strange. I think I'm a little jealous actually. I have to share you while you have all of me. That's not fair. Well, moving on to cheerier things, the letters. As I said I still have problems with expressing my feelings but I want to learn how to do it. And I think these letters might be able to help me with that. So let's keep writing, shall we?_

_I was thinking that (if you don't have anything else planned) we could take a trip to Diagon Alley together. We both have some school stuff to buy and I think it would do us some good to get out in public together. I know what I've said earlier, that there was no way for us to be friends because it would interrupt with the natural order of things (you remember the whole Slytherin and Gryffindor mascot thing?) but I've been thinking about that lately. I think it would be healthy for us to show off our friendship. You know, mend the old wounds and show people that just because we are different and used to be enemies it doesn't mean that things'll never change. After this war people really need to realise that their prejudices are childish and uncalled for. People need to see that enemies can get along and even be friends. Perhaps we'll take down some walls. Perhaps we'll make some people gasp. And perhaps we'll even make some people mad and furious. But hopefully we'll make must people stop and think about their own lives. Well, it might be a little farfetched but I still want to go to Diagon Alley with you no matter what. Shall we say August 6__th__?_

_**First a little note about the previous chapter: I'm so sorry about the lack of date. Hermione wrote her letter on August 2**__**nd**__**. Hopefully you are no longer confused about the timeline.**_

_**Now to some other thing:**_

_**Thank you to all my reviewers! You really make it easy and fun to write and keep on writing**_

_**Thank you to all subscribers of any kind! It makes it easier for me to keep on updating when I know there are people waiting for the next chapter.**_

_**Please review!!!**_

_**Please add to favourites!!!**_


	25. Letter Number 11

**Letter Number 11**

_July 7__th__ 1998, London Apartment_

_Hermione,_

_I'm so sorry for what happened yesterday. You must trust me when I say I never thought a thing like that would happen. Had I know it I wouldn't have suggested an outing in public. I guess not everyone considers me a hero after all. At least not a hero to your standard. That witch was right, Hermione. You can't keep on denying that. I'm not good enough to be your friend and definitely not anything more than that. I don't deserve your friendship. I'm nothing more than a fraud, trying to be better and be worthy of you but there is no denying all the things I have done in the past. I'm not only talking about the things I've done to you and your friends but all the things I've done to the entire Wizarding community. I have always lived up to my names and even when I try to do things differently people doubt me and nobody (besides you that is) trusts me. And I don't blame any of them. If it weren't for me Dumbledore might still be alive, have you thought of that? If I hadn't let in the other Death Eaters and therefore provoked Severus to kill the Headmaster he might still be with us._

_And Hermione, most people don't care about me saving your lives. They think I just did it so I could turn you over to Voldemort. They think me a lair, all of them. The Order of the Phoenix won't have anything to do with me even though I contacted them to offer my services (I wanted to help them catch the Death Eaters that still walks around freely. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my doing this, but I wanted to surprise you. But instead of taking my extended hand they cast me away and called me a fraud. They never believed that I wanted to help them. And I guess they never told you about my offer since you haven't commented on it). The pureblood Slytherins consider me a traitor for helping you and want nothing to do with me either; instead they send me howlers cursing me and my family. I don't want all my problems to be reflected off of you as it happened yesterday. You deserve much better than me._

_I don't belong anywhere Hermione. Everyone besides you and my parents have pushed me aside. I expected my parents to stay on my side no matter what since it's kind of their job to do that. But you owe me nothing of that sort. Actually you don't owe me anything better than to ignore me and hate me like everybody else. We shouldn't be friends Hermione. It pains me immensely to say this but it's the truth and you know it. We aren't meant to be friends. If we stick together we'll have to fight of prejudices all the time. I know now that I was a naïve fool before. There is no way we could ever show our world the power of friendship, because nobody in their right mind thinks me capable of being a friend to anyone and least of all you. I don't want to drag you down with me. _

_Leaving you alone will be my final act as you friend, Hermione. It will also be the hardest thing I'll have to do. We can't fight the powers that force us apart. I know you'll want to try. You are stubborn I've seen that plenty of times. But if you fight this you'll lose everything. Your pride, integrity and your future hopes. It might sound like I'm exaggerating but trust me; people don't like me and my family, they never have, and they'll hate anyone who associates with us. Not even your popularity will be able to make a difference. They'll probably think that I've hexed you into liking me. They'll try and save their heroin and we'll both end up getting hurt when they succeed._

_I know what you are thinking Hermione, and don't you even dare! You can't clear my reputation; too many things are against me. The Dark Mark on my arm is the first thing speaking against me, and not even you can erase that. I know I was foolish to even get that mark, but I was scared as Hell. If I hadn't gotten it my life would have ended a year ago. You can't clear me so don't you even try to do so, it would damage you more than me._

_Believe me, there is nothing I would rather do than to just ignore everyone else and just stay with you. But part of being friends is to look out for each other and do what is best for the other part even if you end up getting hurt. And that is what I'm doing. I am letting you go so that I won't drag you through the mud with me. I have to do that alone. Don't worry about me I'm used to being alone. I've only had a single friend and that has only lasted for a few days. Don't get me wrong I'll miss it more than anything else I'll have to give up, but I know how to live without it. It won't kill me. I hope. _

_This will be my last letter to you. Don't try to contact me. I'm saying this for your own sake. There is nothing I'd like more than for you to send me a letter telling me to get over myself, but I know that it can't happen. I'm doing the right thing. You are smart Hermione, you'll come to realise that we have been beaten and can't rise again. The world can't tolerate a friendship like ours, there're simply too many things to fight with all the time. I want you to be happy, Hermione. And I know that you think being with me is all it will take to do that. But I know you a right sight better than you think I do. I know you can't live without the admiration of our world you can't live without being in grace. You crave their acceptation like nothing else in this world since you have fought so long and hard to regain it in the first place. I don't want to be the one to take it away from you. It doesn't matter that this'll hurt the both of us. In the end this is the right thing to do. Considering the alternative this is the only thing to do. I'll miss you Hermione Granger, my one and only true friend. I'll miss you deeply._

_Draco_

_**God, I**__** nearly cried just from writing this. I hope you don't hate me, but the story took me here. I didn't decide on this before it was suddenly written. The story is evolving without my consent my I do think this is the right way to go. I hope to keep writing this.**_

_**Please review.**_


	26. Fifteenth Letter

**Fifteenth Letter**

_August 8__th__ 1998, Grimmauld Place_

_My dearest Draco,_

_You truly are the most adorable thing in a long time – I know you'll hate me for calling you that, Merlin I can just imagine your face all puffy and hard, but you really are. I truly appreciate what you are trying to do for me. I realise that it must have been very hard for you to write that letter, but I'm telling you it was completely unnecessary. If there is one thing that's important to know about me it's that I'm always loyal to my friends with no thoughts for myself. I'm not going to abandon you because of one silly, little incident. If all friends did that, nobody would have any friends. Merlin, I would have lost Harry and Ron a million times if it was like that. But it's not so stop whining and feeling sorry for yourself. We're friends now and we'll work this out. Together._

_Draco really, the right solution is never to give up. If there is something you really want, you have to be able and willing to fight for it, and to fight hard. Nothing that's worth having comes easily. I think our friendship is worth it. I hope you think so too. Well, I know you think so. I got that much from your letter._

_You know, not everybody sees you the same way that that condescending witch did. Remember the healers at St. Mungo's? They made you their top priority because of who you are. It wasn't because of your father, your wealth or your social status. They wanted to help you because of you. And that says something. So you can't just walk away from what we have because of one, tiny thing. I'll tell you what. Tomorrow we're going to Diagon Alley again. I feel like some ice cream, and I think I'd like to share it with my good friend. If people can't handle seeing us together they can just leave. But I honestly think that you were right to begin with. People will be shocked, of course they will, but they'll realise that even people with differences can get along and be friends. Just stop doubting yourself Draco. _

_And you have to stop blaming yourself for what happened to Dumbledore. There was nothing you could have done to keep it from happening. As for you letting the other Death Eaters in it castle, I admit it was stupid of you. But your life was on the stake. I don't blame you at all for trying to save yourself. I can't say I would have done the same thing, but I wasn't in the situation you were in. I have no right to judge you and even if I did I wouldn't. Nobody has the right to judge, especially not that witch. She doesn't know you and she doesn't know what you've been through. She only has half the facts. So you really shouldn't care about what she says. I know I don't. You just have to learn to block out things like that. You know better than hear, just keep that in mind. If it's then still hard for you, I hope you know that you can always come to me. I'll reassure you of your valour even when others try to pick you apart._

_Remember one of the letters you wrote me, where you told me about the little girl that had called you a hero? Think back on that and remember how you felt when she said that. That should be proof enough for you that you truly are a hero, Draco. _

_I know you have problems with other purebloods and Voldemort's followers. I know they consider you a traitor and have made you an outcast, but that just means that you need me more than before. You can't go through life alone. I thought you of all people would know that after what you went through during our sixth year. Draco, you need friends. And you have me. Don't push me away because you have some sort of need to be the Byronic hero. You need me, and I need you to. Somehow it just feels right when we're together. And I know you'll try and deny this. You'll say something stupid about my girly feelings and your macho solitude crap. But you know as well as I that we were meant to be friends. We just got lost somewhere on the road to friendship. But now we're there and we can't just turn our backs on destiny. I'm not letting you leave me. even if you think it's your responsibility as my friend._

_And really what is that about? Because you're a man you have to defend my honour or something? I'm telling you once and for all: quit playing the tortured Byronic hero. It does you no good. Draco, I'm used to defending myself, I don't need you to do it for me. Ironically enough I used to defend myself from you, and now suddenly you have some sort of protective need. I thought I didn't need to worry about that anymore, since we're now friends and I've proved myself to Harry and Ron. Do I have to prove myself to you aswell?_

_So now that that is out of the way – and don't you dare bring it up again – I want to thank you for our last trip together. Apart from the incident-we-won't-mention-again I had a really good time. I really enjoyed our visit to Flourish and Blotts, it was hilarious! Who would have thought you were a joker? I mean, I knew you had this sort of cruel humour, but that was never funny – sorry, but friends tell each other the truth. But seriously I had a really good time and I know you did too you're just focusing on the bad things. It's not that I don't always enjoy shopping for books, but you sure make it funny. I think we got all the books of our school list. But I'm still looking forward to our ice-cream-date._

_I'll meet you at your apartment in the morning. Don't try to freeze me out; you know I'll find some way to get in. Just trust me Draco. I know that's not an easy thing to do, but one time has to be the first. Trust me. We'll have fun._

_Your_

_Hermione_

_**I think this chapter will be to everybody's liking. Or at least I hope so. Give me a shout! Or a review, it's your own choice…**_


	27. Letter Number 12

**Letter Number 12**

_August 9__th__ 1998, London Apartment_

_Hermione,_

_I was wrong. I happily admit that. I was wrong. I was wrong about you, thinking that you could ever give up something you wanted. And I was wrong about the threat I thought I was to your reputation. Well, I still think I am a threat, but not a threat of the same magnitude I believed earlier. You were quite right we did have a lovely time together today. I've only just gotten home and now I'm writing to you as if we haven't just spent the entire day together. I think I'm getting slightly addicted to your presence. But I guess that's common amongst friends, right? I mean, you are my first friend so it's normal for me to, what do you say… crave your company all the time, is it not?_

_Today was probably one of the best days of my life, and nothing special happened. I mean, we just walked through Diagon Alley, had some ice cream and then walked through London. It's not like I haven't done those things before. I guess I'm really just trying to say is that you make those simply things special. And I want to thank you for that._

_I still can't believe that Hermione Granger, the Gryffindor goodie-goodie, is my first and best friend. We have never been fond of each other, the quite opposite in fact. We've been arguing and fighting to the best of our abilities. You've even punched me. Hard. I've called you names that never should have been uttered, you've smeared my good name as well as you could. People think us mortal enemies, and I really think that was what we were. But now we're friends. Some change, huh? Well, at least one thing remains the same; I still don't like you friends. But lately I've been thinking (and there's a reason why I haven't told you this face to face, because not even you could refrain from laughing at this, believe me, or at least just call me a nutter or something like that) that perhaps I could learn to like them. Well, perhaps not like them like them but at least tolerate them. Wouldn't it be great if I could stand being with them for more than an hour and if they could do the same thing? Then you and could spend more time together. We wouldn't have to part when Weasel suddenly shows up uninvited and unexpected. That would really be great. Of course there is still that wretched baby, and I really don't think I could learn to tolerate that one. Sure, it's tolerable when it's sleeping or laugh, but it's gross when it's eating and… other things and it's seriously annoying when it's crying and screaming. I've said it before and I'll keep saying it: I'll never love babies. Not like you do._

_Don't try and deny, I know you are thinking about having children of your own when you look at that baby. I can see it in your face. I see the devotion and the love but also the longing. You long to be a mother yourself, I know you do. I've seen the same look on my mother's face. But I'd never expected to see on yours. Somehow I didn't think you'd want children. I don't know, I guess I just figured you a career woman. I knew you liked children, but you don't have to have them just because you like them. I thought it was that way with you. But when I saw you with the baby after we came back from our walk it suddenly hit me: you are craving a child of you own. Perhaps not right now, not right this instance but in a near future._

_I can certainly imagine you as a mother. There is no doubt in my mind that you would be a wonderful mother. I see how devoted you are of Teddy Lupin and he isn't even your responsibility or related to you in any way. He's much more my relative than he is yours. And still you dote on him, you love him and you take care of him. If you'll do that to a child not yours in any way, I can only imagine how loving and caring you'll be when you have children of you own. I can even see your children. I imagine you with two children, a son and a daughter. Of course they are both brilliant like their mother. The girl is the youngest and has your maternal instincts and the boy has a natural protector instinct, as I think you have as well. I can't see my own children because I don't imagine ever having any. I just don't think I'm that kind of a man. My heart, however soft it has grown lately, just isn't soft enough for children._

_You see now why I've advised to forget about your love for me and go with Weasley? We've avoided this topic for too long now Hermione, but we need to talk about this again. I know that Weasley can give you all the things I can't. He'll be willing to have children with you. He'll be as loving and doting as you truly deserve. Whereas I would deny you the one thing you truly long for and I'll probably be harsh and difficult to love. I'm not worthy of you love, I don't deserve it. I can't give you what you want, what you need and most importantly I can't give you what you deserve. Because Merlin's Beard, you deserve to be happy! I want you to be happy! And I know that children are what it takes to make you happy, and that is the one thing I don't think I'll be able to give you. I don't think I could do it. Not even for you. So you should forget about your feelings for me (don't say you already have, I've also noticed how you steal glances at me. I know you think you can change my mind. But on this matter my mind is set and unchangeable) and realise that Weasel is the right man for you. I can't be that man you want and deserve. But he can and he is more than willing. My, I'm more reluctant. I just crave your friendship and you company. Just promise me that once you're married and have lots of red-haired and bushy-haired children you won't forget about me. Even if you are married to someone else you'll still be my friend and I'll still need you like I need to breathe._

_Okay, now I've spilled my heart. I'm sorry I didn't tell you these things in person, you deserve that much. But if I know you (and I've come to know you better than I ever thought possible) you won't just accept what I've told you. You are stubborn as Hell, Hermione Granger. And I greatly admire that in you, even though it can be annoying and infuriating. I guess I'll just have to put up with that. It's a part of you that can't be denied. And to be honest, if you weren't stubborn as a pig you wouldn't half as fun as you are. Really, there is nothing funnier that to have an argument with you and watch your cheeks flare when you hold onto what you believe. Why do you think I've almost made it my profession to tease you? Sometimes when you're really riled up you look like you're going to stomp your feet in anger and frustration. I've kind of made it my purpose in life to see if I can make that happen. _

_Draco_

_**Sorry for the wait, but I've been super busy. But now there is finally an update that I hope will be to everybody's liking. I certainly enjoyed writing it.**_

_**Please review as always!**_


	28. Sixteenth Letter

**Sixteenth Letter**

_August 11__th__ 1998, Grimmauld Place_

_Dearest Draco,_

_I also truly enjoyed our little outing together. I'm glad you are owing up to the possibility of you being wrong about something. I won't rub your face in it any longer, I'm just glad that you seemed to enjoy our time together as much as I did. It feels weird really that I haven't seen you since that day, but suddenly I just had all these other things to do. I hope that you don't think it has anything to do with you, I've just been busy. The healers from St. Mungo's contacted me and wanted my help, and then Molly wanted me to come to the Burrow and spend a day with the family there. Am I going too far if I tell you that I missed you terribly and thought about you almost all the time? I know you see us as friends with no possibility of anything else, but my feelings still haven't changed a bit. But I still don't force myself upon you or anything. So I won't say anything more on this matter right now. Perhaps I'll return to it later, since you did talk an awfully lot about it in your former letter. But first things first:_

_I've received a letter from my parents asking me to join them in Australia for a few days. They of course know it can't be too long since school starts soon and there are things to be done before I leave. I also got permission to invite you along. Don't worry we won't be travelling the Muggle way, we'll apparate. I really want you to join me in Australia so you can meet my parents and I can show you that Garden I talked about. Think about it, please._

_When that's out of the way, I can move on to other things. Such as your sudden tolerance of my two best friends – I noticed that you didn't mention anything about Ginny, but you haven't really met her yet so I figured that might be the reason. You quite shocked me, you did. I never thought you say anything like that – well, technically you didn't say it you just wrote it but still. Of course I don't expect you and Ron and Harry to suddenly get along and be best mates, but it would make me very happy if you three could at least try to get along. I'm hoping you'd do it for me, if not for yourselves. I'm also very surprised that you might even be able to tolerate Teddy – his name is Teddy and not 'that wretched baby' or 'that one' Draco, please try and remember that. You really should be able to get along with him. You don't have to love him or even like him right now. But at least make an effort to be there for him. You are his cousin, and he doesn't have any other family left apart from yours. So do me a favour and sit with him a little the next time you visit. Just take him on your lap and look into his big, trusting eyes. I promise you, you won't regret it._

_And when we are talking about babies, I won't deny that I want one for myself. I've always wanted a child. But I also want a good carrier and I want to build a stabile ground before getting one. I think it's irresponsible to bring a child into the world if you can't care for I properly. It's just incredibly selfish and loathsome. So I'll create a foundation before a thing like that can ever happen. And of course I'll have to find the perfect man first. Not only must the perfect man love me and I him, but I must also be sure that he will love our child – and I think you could be that man._

_I'm not trying to scare you away or anything, just close your mouth and listen to what I have to say for a change. You may not like children; I don't doubt that for a moment. I see the disgust clearly in your face when you look at Teddy. But I am under the impression that you will feel different once you've found the perfect woman. When you have her you'll want to love her in every possible way. And you'll want your love to live on after you have gone from this world. So you'll have a child with her. And when you hold that child in your arms for the first time and look into the coal black depth you'll be forever reminded of your undying love. You'll have no other choice than to love this child as you love your wife. It's the course of nature and not even you can escape that, Draco Malfoy._

_So you see I don't care that you don't want children right now. That's fine with me. because one day you'll realise that you have to have a child just because you're so in love. And I'm hoping that I'll be the woman you decide to have children with._

_You wrote about my children, the two you imagine me having. And then you said you couldn't imagine your own children. Well, imagine my children as yours. As you said there will be two, a boy and a girl. Of course they'll both be smart and brainy; both their parents are that way. But the boy won't be protective of his younger sister because of a gene he has from me. That'll be all yours. Just like he'll have you eyes and your beautiful jaw-line. In fact when I picture him I see you like I saw you the very first time I ever laid eyes on you. Blazing, passionate grey eyes. Slightly pointy chin that suggests stubbornness beyond belief. High, sculptured cheekbones and a pale skin tone. Long, slim nose and a thin face. Hair platinum blond and slicked back. The first time I saw you I was instantly drawn to you, Draco. I've never told anyone that, I was always too ashamed to admit. But you were just so handsome and you had this attitude like you owned the world. I was just a scared little girl hiding my true feelings behind my cleverness and I longed for someone to take care of me. I thought you would be the one to look after me. That was until our destinies led us down different paths. You may not be able to see you own children, but I see them very clearly._

_Draco, if I didn't know better I'd say you'd started to fancy me. Just a little bit and quite reluctantly I might add. You keep on telling me to stay with Ronald and to be happy with him. You give thousands of reasons why I should love him and not you. But not once have you given the reason that really matters: you haven't told me to forget about you because you don't love me back and never could have feelings like that for. You've given tons of other reason: you aren't good enough for me, I deserve better, you are a danger for me and now you don't want children. But not once have you said the 5 words that would make all the difference in the world and that could make me forget you and get together with Ron: "I could never love you". You haven't said that and so I won't give up on you just yet. Because I don't think you can say it. I don't think you really feel like that. You just have some complex and I'll prove you wrong. _

_Draco –_

_You __**are**__ good enough for me – sometimes I fear it's the other way around_

_You __**do**__ deserve me – sometimes I think I'm the one who doesn't deserve you_

_You are __**not **__a danger to me – if anything I'm a danger to you, your former 'friends' wont like you more if you're dating a Muggleborn. But really when did we ever shy away from danger?_

_You __**will**__ want children someday – maybe not now, but as I said, you will want them someday. I'll just be patient and love you no matter what you say_

_You'll have to face it Draco, I'm not giving up until you give me a valid reason. All these things can be denied and conquered. But if you feel no shred of love for me and don't think you ever could, if you are utterly repulsed by me and my values then there will be no hope for us and I'll just be your friend. It will pain me beyond belief, but if that's the only way I can have you in my life – as my friend and nothing more than that – then I'll take what I can get. We've gone too far now to just give up on each other._

_All my love_

_Hermione_

_**And… another chapter! How do I do it? There's no answer to that… but reviews sure have made it easy for me.**_

_**Sooo…. More reviews please! Don't be afraid to hit that green button. It doesn't bite, although it did once snarl. But I've reprimanded it and it promised to nothing like it again. I give you my word.**_


	29. Letter Number 13

**Letter Number 13**

_August 12__th__ 1998, London Apartment_

_Hermione,_

_There's no easy way to tell you this so I'm just going to come right out and say it: I can't go to Australia with you. I want to and yet I don't. Do you know what I'm getting at? No, you probably don't. The way I see it you already have your entire future planned. You have every aspect laid out neatly in front of you. You know exactly how you want your life to turn out and you're fighting to get there. And don't get me wrong I respect you tremendously for that. But I like not knowing where I'm going. I like feeling a little insecure of my future and my prospects. It makes me feel alive._

_You've planned your life down to every detail; you know how you want it to fan out and what you have to do in order to get it like you want it. As I see it, you want me to be a very important part of your life. And I won't object to that, I want to be in your life. But please don't expect me to fulfil all of your wishes and deepest desires just because you tell me what they are. I won't have my life decided for me when I've finally just gotten it for myself. I'm finally free of my father's influence I don't need you to take over where he left off._

_Don't get me wrong please, Hermione. I want to be your friend but for now I'm happy with being nothing more than that. I want my life to be fully mine and nobody else's. Not even yours. I want to be independent for as long as I can and a relationship of the magnitude you propose is just too much for me to handle for the moment. Hermione, I'm sorry. I can only be your friend, and I can't go to Australia with you because it would mean more to you than to me. It would mean something different for you than for me. The last thing I want to do is lead you on._

_I want to tell you straight of the back that what you want of me I can't give you. I can't be a father, I've told you that before but you didn't listen. Now I'll tell you again: I'm not cut out for children. I don't like them and I don't want them. For you I'll make an effort with this Teddy boy, since he is also my cousin I could perhaps do that. I can't be a loving and devoting husband because I'm not those things. I'm not loving (thank Merlin for that) and I'm not devoted to anything else than myself (I have – to some extend – made an exception with you but I've stretched as far as I can for now). Please don't ask anything more of me._

_Hermione, my life is mine to live and yours to be a participant in until I tell you otherwise, please remember that. You can't just tell me that you want to marry me and have children with me when we're only friends. I know you have feelings for me (I think about that every time you smile at me, so I know), and I don't mind at all. I'm too selfish to mind, but not so selfish that I want to hurt you. Nevertheless I believe you'll be able to put your feelings aside and still be my friend._

_And yeah, I know I was the one to bring up the whole baby thing – but that was just because I saw how much you wanted one. I distinctly said I didn't want any of my own but that I could imagine yours. I can't believe that you could just turn it around and make your children mine, it's not fair Hermione. You can't do that. You can't just spring this on me without any warning at all. I don't want children, please grasp that. I don't care what you say, I don't want children and I'm not having any. I'm not fit to raise them, you know, the whole selfish thing. You know, I know my psychology, I know that a baby is essentially a selfish creature. You can't have two selfish people in one home. But that's beside the point, really! I don't like children and never will, so don't bring it up again._

_I'm sorry, that was rude but hey, that's me. I can't change that Hermione, and neither can you. No matter how noble you think I am. Don't try and change me, I won't have it. I'll be who I want to be._

_I do appreciate the little… pep talk I guess you could call it in the end of your letter. As I said I know you think I'm better than I really am. So of course you'll think I deserve you. By all means just keep on believing that. But I don't like that you said that perhaps you didn't deserve me. Hermione, with my track record everybody could be deserving of me. You are way above me, but I've decided that it no longer matters. As said I'm selfish and I want to be your friend weather I deserve you or not._

_You might be the most stubborn person I know, besides from myself that is. If you want to wait for me to fall in love with you I won't stop you. I don't encourage you but I can't honestly say there is no chance of me to ever return those feelings. I can't say that for certain. Nothing is for certain anymore. Just please understand that I want to be my own person. I don't want to be tied down beyond hope and freedom. A friendship I can handle. Hell, I even need a friendship. But a romantic relationship might just be too much for me._

_Sorry, Hermione, but Australia is just not a good idea. And I'm saying that for your own sake. Just go without me and I'll see you first thing when you get back._

_Hermione, please don't hate me now. I'm only saying the truth here so you can't ever accuse me of leading you on. I truly care for you and want the best things for you, but I'm not sure if that is me and what I have to offer. However wrong I think I am for you, I can't deny myself your company and your friendship but I can't give more of me than I already have. This is for both our sakes._

_Merlin, I'm talking in circles aren't I? Back and forth all the time, never deciding on one thing to tell you. It must be really frustrating for you. Darn, you must be irritated beyond belief right now. Merlin, I don't know what to say to change the tone of this letter for the better… I don't want to erase what I've already written it is the truth, the unshielded truth. Perhaps there is nothing I can really say to make this better. Perhaps there is one thing._

_You're my best friend, and for that I think I love you. _

_Yeah, that ought to do it. Hopefully you'll still feel like talking to me after this._

_Draco_

_Ps. I love you – I know that now. But I don't think it's the way you want me to love you. But it's a start after all. I just don't know what it should be the start of. What I want it to be the start of. What I can handle… Merlin, I just complicated this again, didn't I? I don't know!_

_**Oh God, I have no idea if I like this chapter. Please tell me what you think.**_


	30. Letter Number 14

**Letter Number 14**

_August 14__th__ 1998, London Apartment_

_Hermione!_

_I can't believe you left without saying goodbye! Or, I mean, you did say goodbye… you were here yesterday and said that you were leaving today, but still! I was planning on being there when you left, you know to see you off. But when I arrived at Grimmauld Place Potter said that you had already left. How stupid do you think I felt?! Really, Hermione, I never thought you were such a shrew! _

_Why the Hell did you leave without telling me? And don't come here waving a finger at me and saying, "Oh, but Draco I did say it!" because you know that's not what I mean! You know I wanted to say properly goodbye to you. Or at least you should know. Hermione, you're my best and only friend of course I want to be there when you leave for Australia for a week! I can't believe you just left me here! _

_And what was with you visit yesterday? I have never seen you like that, all distant and sullen. You didn't even come in even though I asked you to come in. You just stood there in the doorway, looked me in the eye and said, "So tomorrow I'm leaving, I'll see you in a week." What kind of a goodbye is that?! I'll tell you the answer to that, not a good on! I bet that both Potter, Weasel and his entire family was there to see you off! And if I know them right they were probably snickering to them self and whispering about me. "See, that Malfoy boy didn't even come to say goodbye! I told you he was up to no good!" What are they all going to think about me know? Yeah, they won't like me any better than they did before that's for sure! Merlin, I'm angry!_

_And it's not just because you left without saying anything to me, it's also because you left without giving me the chance of saying anything to you. And that really wasn't fair, Hermione, because I had something to say and you know that! You very well know that! You know that… is that why you left with no word? Because you didn't want me to say it? Or because you simply didn't want to hear it? You silly girl! You moan about me for Merlin's toes know how long, and when I finally cave in a give you want you want, you suddenly no longer want it? Merlin! I don't get you! _

_Hermione, you've wanted me for so long, if I should believe your letters, and now suddenly you turn your back on me. I finally let my guard down and admit that I love you (I'm still not clear about the details on that, but I do know that what I feel is love, even though I haven't figured out what kind of love…) and then you run away from me. That's hardly the right way to deal with this. I thought you were supposed to be smart, but I guess I was wrong then! You were supposed to let me give you a proper goodbye, so you would know that I was open to a discussion of our future, wetter it be as only friends or perhaps something more. But then you bailed!_

_I don't believe this! I don't believe you! I need to blow off some steam. Perhaps kick something… I'll be right back._

_Yeah, well, now you owe me a stool, I'm way too stubborn to put it back together myself. Besides, you made me break it. But kicking it has served its purpose, I'm more relaxed now. Still mad, but more in control of myself._

_You do know that as soon as you come back I'll be right there and demand an explanation. Or perhaps I won't. Perhaps it's my time to bail and then you can pick up the pieces you left. I really shouldn't feel the need to fix this on my own, since you created the problem. It's only fair that you should put it back together._

_But I still fail to see why you would just leave? Don't you know how much it hurts? I tell you that I love you, a thing I've never said to anybody else besides my mother. And then you just treat me with such indifference. Like I'd said the wrong thing. Like you didn't feel the same. Is that the problem then? You don't believe me? Or your feelings have changed? Or is this just payback?_

_That's what it is, isn't it? You're getting back at me for not returning your feelings right away. Well, I can see the fairness in that. I'd probably have done the same thing myself if I were you. Or perhaps I would even have done something even pettier. But if it is payback I can live with that. Revenge is something I understand. Merlin, it's even something I'm good at. At least this is better than the other options. Revenge is better than changed feelings. It's better than disbelief._

_Hermione, I really think I've done a great job in earning your trust, but if you don't believe me then tell me what I can do to convince you! _

_And if your feelings have changed then the only descend thing to do would be to just tell me face to face. You owe me that much, don't you think._

_I'm at a loss to figure you out Hermione Granger. What more can you possibly want from me? I've given you everything I can. I've explained this to you, I don't want to give away my entire life to someone else, but I still admit that I love you. Doesn't that count for something? Don't I get something in return?_

_Merlin, I don't think I can wait a week to see you again. I might just go to Australia just to sort this thing out. But hey, is that what you were planning? Was this whole thing just some scheme to get me to go to Australia? Or perhaps you are testing me. You are testing me to see if I really do love you! It's a test! If I run after you to Australia you'll know that I was sincere and that I really do love you. But if I just sit here and sulk then you'll know that I was just lying. Or perhaps that I just didn't love you as much as I thought. Or have I gotten this wrong? Perhaps you aren't testing me. Perhaps you set this up so I could test myself. So that I could be certain of my affections for you. So that I myself could know how much I really love you. If I'm in love with you and ready to have a relationship._

_Epiphany!_

_I love you, Hermione Granger, you sneaky Gryffindor! Are you sure you shouldn't be in Slytherin after all? You'd look good in green and silver, I'm sure of that._

_But where does this leave me? Should I run to Australia and pour my heart out to you? That's so unlike me that I feel like hurling just from thinking about it. But still I want to. That is so strange. I've never felt torn before. I'm turn between my heart and my pride. And I honestly don't know which is the stronger the side. I'm… I don't know!_

_With love – of nothing else I'm sure of right now_

_Draco_

_**Review!**_

_**This chapter is probably one of my personal favourites. Not just because he finally realises his feelings, but because I'm proud of it (yes I know, some bragging is bound to come). I'm proud, because I think I really nailed this. I think I captured Draco beautifully. He isn't changed from his normal self, but still there's a very big difference – he loves Hermione. I can't wait to see that this new knowledge will push him to do…**_


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

"Why haven't you answered my letter?!"

"Draco!" Hermione squealed and jumped a little. "What are you doing here?"

Draco ignored her question and with blazing eyes took a step closer to her. The look in his face of sheer fury was underlined with something she didn't think she would see there: uncertainty.

"You haven't answered my letter," Draco said. "I sent it to you three days ago!"

"Draco, listen…" Hermione started saying but Draco raised his hand to cut her off mid-sentence.

"I don't want to hear you apologies, Hermione, if they just revolve around you rejecting me," he said and sighed. "I can live with the rejection, I guess. As long as you would just be my friend."

"What rejection?" Hermione asked all perplex and confused. "Why would I reject you?"

At those words Draco's eyes became wide and wondering. Could he possibly have been wrong?

"Then why haven't you answered my letter?" he asked and stepped closer again, but this time his step was hesitant as opposed to angry.

"There was a storm a couple of days ago," Hermione said and smiled. "I just got your letter today."

Draco blinked in surprise. _That_ he did not expect. He had been over every possibility, or so he had thought. In the end he had decided that the reason why she hadn't answered his heartfelt letter was because she didn't want what he had to offer. The realisation of that had nearly driven him mad. He knew she wouldn't be back for another couple of days, and he simply couldn't wait that long to confront her. So he had apparated to Melbourne, and had ended straight right next to Hermione in her parents' living room. How he had managed that he had no idea since he had no idea where their house was. But here was there and so was she.

"Draco," Hermione softly said and brought him back to reality. "Draco, did you really think that I didn't answer you because I didn't want you?"

"Well, yes I did," Draco said suddenly defensive.

"Why would you think that?"

"Because you just left me!" the exclamation was nearly a yell, but Draco didn't care. All the frustrated emotions that had build inside him for the many last days were suddenly erupting and forcing their way out of his system.

"I didn't leave you," Hermione said as calm as ever. "I did say goodbye."

"You spend five minutes with me in my doorway! That can hardly be considered as a fair goodbye!"

"I didn't have more time than that. I was in a hurry."

"A hurry to do what?"

"To get here, of course." Hermione was practically giddy.

"I'm not following," Draco said and shook his head while he heavily sat down on the flowered couch. Hermione gracefully followed him and laid her small hand on top of his.

"My mother called me just before I went to your house," she started explaining. "My father had an accident – he fell down the stairs and broke his arm – and my mother wanted me to come straight away. So I went to you to say goodbye and then I took off."

"Is your father okay?" he knew that there were so many other questions that needed to be answered, but he had seen the expression of worry on Hermione's face when she mentioned her father, and suddenly Draco's own needs had faded into the background.

"He's fine," Hermione answered with a week smile. "But when I was at your place I'm afraid I wasn't quite myself. I was distraught and worried, so I didn't think clearly. I forgot to even tell you what had happened, I just knew I had to say goodbye to you before I left. And when I came back home I kissed Teddy goodbye, hugged Harry and took off. There was no farewell party as you suggested in your letter."

Draco felt himself blush when he realised how foolish he had been.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. "I jumped to the conclusion and I shouldn't have."

"Oh, it's not you that should apologise," Hermione said and grabbed his hand tightly. "I'm sorry Draco, I should have written you and explained as soon as I found out my father was okay."

"Yeah, you should," Draco couldn't conceal the sarcastic comment. "Sorry," he muttered in apology.

Hermione smiled a little and gently shook her head.

"Don't apologise," she said. "I take all the blame for this."

They sat together silently for a while. Hermione was still holding Draco's hand and he couldn't stop looking at their joined hands. He knew that had she done this before she went away he would probably have shook off her hand. But now it felt natural and right. Like breathing or sleeping. It was even quite nice.

"I'm actually kind of glad you didn't do anything," Draco said and lifted his face to meet her eyes. "If you had told me about this then I wouldn't have been here."

Hermione smiled widely and the smile made butterflies go crazy in Draco's stomach.

"And if you hadn't left me wondering I probably wouldn't admit what I've finally admitted," Draco unconsciously made his voice low and husky. "I admit it Hermione, I'm in love with you."

Hermione gasped at his words and the smile turned even wider yet. A delicate blush formed in her cheeks and Draco reached out to stroke it. Lightly his fingers traced the small, red sparks on Hermione's cheek and he felt her shudder a little under this new and foreign touch. His fingers ran from her cheek to her temple and traced the line of her jaw. She closed her eyes and leaned into the caress. Draco had never before seen a sight so erotic and yet endearing and romantic.

"And if you hadn't forced me to question you feelings for me, I would have never found out how I feel for you. And then I wouldn't want to do this now…"

Then he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Hermione's. She instantly caved in and became soft against his lips. The kiss was sweet and meaningful to the both of them. Their lips moved together so perfectly that they wondered why they had never done this before. It was clear to them that this was what they were meant to do: be together.

_**So, what do you think? To sappy? Or anticlimactic? Or just right? Tell me your thoughts!**_

_**I have considered making a sequel to this about their seventh year at Hogwarts, but I would really like some feedback before I do that. If people think the story has now ended then I don't want to continue it.**_


	32. Epilogue

_**I know that practically promised you all a sequel, but when I started writing it, it was just no good for me. I didn't really have a sense of direction. I had no plot and no story line. And I really didn't want to just make a long, fluffy story with nothing else than kisses and touches. That just wasn't fair to this story, I felt. But then again I knew how much you all were waiting to hear more about your favourite couple, so decided to make a compromise. Therefore I give you the EPILOGUE to 'If We Weren't Enemies'. Please enjoy and tell me if you like it.**_

**Epilogue**

Draco raised himself on one elbow and studied Hermione's face. She was utterly beautiful. Once again he wondered why on earth he had ever hated her. He could no longer remember what that hate had been about. She was perfect. She had no flaws what so ever. If anyone had flaws it was him. His biggest flaw was not his pride, his stubbornness or his arrogance. It was his inability to give himself fully to the woman he loved with all his heart.

Hermione twisted a little in her sleep. The pale moonlight fell gracefully on her face and gave it a heavenly glow. Draco sighed peacefully and stroked her cheek gently. A little smile formed on Hermione's lips and she unconsciously pressed her cheek to his fingers.

What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he just give in and let her love him as he loved her? Something was holding him back, but he could no longer put a finger on what it was. For the first two years of their relationship he had excused himself by saying that he wasn't ready yet to give his life to someone else. He wanted it to be his own for the first time in his life. Hermione had selfishly accepted that explanation and never asked anything else from him. She had never pushed him to do anything, and it only made him love her that much more. The last year, the third year, of their relationship he realised that the explanation of independence no longer worked. It wasn't true anymore. And yet he couldn't surrender completely. He battled an internal battle that he never told anyone about. As he watched her sleep the fight started once again.

'_Why don't you just give in?!' _his brain screamed at him. _'You know it's what you really want. It's the only thing you really need to be truly happy.'_

Draco shook his head and sighed again. Hermione's eyelids suddenly started fluttering, and she opened her big, brown eyes to watch him.

'_How could you ever have felt disgusted by those eyes?' _Draco mentally scolded himself. _'There is no sight in the world better than those eyes. When I look into those eyes I see all that is good in me and I'm happy.'_

Hermione smiled at him and stopped his thoughts in their tracks. Her smile was even more enticing than her eyes.

"Is it you sighing ever so loudly?" she whispered teasingly and grabbed a hold of the hand he still held to her cheek. She squeezed it lightly before kissing it.

"Who else could it be?" Draco smirked back and leaned in to kiss her. The kiss was as sweet and loving as their very first. His kisses could still surprise Hermione from time to time. He was such a passionate man, but as flaming and headed as his touch and his kisses could be sometimes, they could also be as tender as nothing else she had experienced.

"There could be no one else than you, Draco," Hermione whispered when the kiss ended. They were both aware of the double meaning of her words, and Draco felt happiness swelling in his stomach.

'_Now is the time!'_ his mind was yelling at him. _'Now is perfect!'_

"Hermione," Draco whispered, suddenly grave. "Hermione."

"Yes, that's my name," she answered, trying to make it easier on him. It was always hard for her to watch the ever confident Draco Malfoy struggle to find his words.

"You know that it's your anniversary," he started saying.

"I'm very well aware of that," Hermione said with a sated smile. "We've spend the last three hours in this very bed celebrating."

A sexy smirk formed on Draco's lips.

"And what a celebration that was! But there's something else I want to talk to you about." He paused, clearly not at all sure of what to say. Hermione reached out and cupped his face in her hands.

"Whatever you have to say," she whispered reassuringly "know that I'll always support you."

Draco gulped back the lump forming in his throat. It was now or perhaps never, he knew.

"I'm ready," he finally said.

Hermione frowned in confusion.

"Ready for what?" she asked him. "I don't understand."

Again Draco had to fight to find the right words. They were words he never thought he was going to say. Never thought he would even _want_ to say. And now he was struggling to say them, not because he was forced to do it or because he felt it was his duty, but because they were the only thing he knew would truly make his life complete.

"I'm ready to be yours."

Hermione gasped when the meaning of his words hit her. Then she sighed and shook her head.

"I already have you, Draco," she whispered. "You don't have to do this just to make me happy. I'm fully content with the way things are now."

Her words froze his heart. A part of him was offended, that when he finally gave in and offered her all he had to give, she declined him. But another part, luckily that was the big part, was incredibly happy that she was willing to give up all her dreams to just be with him. But he wouldn't let her do that.

"I'm not doing it for you," he whispered. "You know me Hermione, I'm a selfish creature. I'm doing this for me. _I _want to be yours. Fully. Completely."

He took a hold of her hand and kissed each of her small, thin fingers. He kissed them all the way from the tip to the root. He was surprised to feel tears forming in his eyes as he prepared to continue.

"Hermione, I want to move in with you. I want to marry you. I want to have children with you. I want to grow old with you. I want to have grandchildren with you. I want to die knowing that I have loved you truly and with all my heart and all my being. That would make me more happy than any other man in the world."

When he finally dared to look up from her hand and meet her eyes, she was crying. The tears weren't tears of sorrow or misery. He saw that immediately. They were tears of joy and happiness. Her whole face was aglow and she was grinning brightly.

"Hermione Jean Granger, would you do me the honour of being my wife?" Draco whispered, knowing that he was crying freely as he spoke the words. "Will you marry me?"

Hermione hesitated for only a second before she threw her arms around his neck and cried into his hair.

"Yes!" she nearly screamed in her happiness. "By Merlin and all that is Holy, yes!"

She pressed small, hot kisses against his neck, but they weren't enough for either of them. Hastily their lips claimed each other's. This kiss was passionate and fiery hot. Their lips were pressed together and their tongues joined the heated dance. When the kiss finally ended they were panting loudly, laughing and crying all at the same time.

"Oi!" they suddenly heard Harry's voice from down below, making them both jump. "If you're going to have loud sex can't you please put a silencing charm on your room? The boy is trying to sleep!"

Draco and Hermione broke down, laughing hard, holding on to each other. Draco simply couldn't keep the news to himself. He was souring on a pink cloud, no matter how cliché that sounded, that was exactly how he felt, and he yelled at the dark-haired man down below, "We're celebrating!"

"I know it's your anniversary, but please!"

"It's not that," Draco yelled back. "We're engaged!"

No reply. The silence was thick and heavy for a minute. Then Harry shouted back, "About bloody time, that was!"

Draco and Hermione started laughing again, both silently agreeing with Harry. About time. But also just the right time.

_**So, happy with what you got? I thought it was just right, but perhaps that's just because I wrote it.**_


	33. Somethng Extra

Okay, so I was watching football (Go Spain!) and I got this crazy idea that I hope you'll all help me realise. Hopefully it's doable but I'll need your help.

Here's the general idea:

I want to make _'If we weren't enemies"_ into a movie. Now, don't think me too crazy, it's not as grand as it sounds. All I'm asking for is two voices; one to read Hermione's letters and one to read Draco's.

Furthermore I think it could be great if some of you felt up to draw some pictures for each chapter.

So here's what I want you to do if this appeals to you (which I hope it does):

Send me a personal message here with your name and who you'll be reading as

Also tell me what paragraph you'll be reading

After this I'll send you my e-mail and you can send me the clip of you reading your paragraph

On September 1st I'll let you know whether or not you're my Hermione or Draco

Now, that was for the voices. If you'd rather contribute with pictures, drawings or mash-ups the process is much simpler:

Send me a personal message describing your picture and which chapter inspired you

Then I'll send you my e-mail and you can send me the picture

Done!

Hopefully I'll get some support to make this dream a reality! So please everyone, find your inner Draco or your inner Hermione and send me a lot of great recordings or pictures. I really hope I'm not the only one who's excited about this…


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